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What choice would you make?

When you are asked to make a choice between people in your life (and I don't mean in things like where your cheating, hanging with druggies or anything that is criminal or immoral) and your told it's either her or me as a friend, sister, or even In laws vs Parents. Just the normal traps people try to set for us. Sometimes it seems that you can do no right, even if you try to middle of the road your way through. My default, is to feel that the one making me choose, usually has more selfish concerns than concern for me. Of course, I give it thought first but it seems to have a lot of merit. Thoughts?


Asked by GMMOLLY at 1:07 PM on Apr. 16, 2010 in Relationships

Level 5 (100 Credits)
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Answers (6)
  • Anyone who would make you choose between them, or day a harmless friendship, id only out for themsevles. If someone is giving you that ultimatum, then they are being extremely selfish & only thinking about themselves.

    I would tell that person that if they have the balls to say this to you, then they are the ones who should be hittin gthe road. REAL friendship/love is not like that.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 2:24 PM on Apr. 16, 2010

  • Anyone asking you to make such a choice has insecurity issues and is trying to control you and your life. That's not healthy.

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:16 PM on Apr. 16, 2010

  • Agree with first answer. I don't want someone as a friend if they think they are going to control who my other friends are.

    Answer by TarLion at 1:17 PM on Apr. 16, 2010

  • I haven't had to deal with that, personally. However, my young daughter had a very, very jealous friend who hated when my daughter hung out with others. They were best friends for several years, but I watched this girl grow a very unhealthy controlling attitude, even to the point that she would talk over ME. My daughter came home one day and said her friend gave her an ultimatum (her or another person) and asked what to do. I told her the choice was easy, tell her goodbye and you move on! Nobody has the right to expect that of anyone. It was the best decision my daughter ever made. She is much happier without the stress of that girl.

    Answer by pam at 1:28 PM on Apr. 16, 2010

  • sorry i can't spell..hope you caught my

    Answer by samurai_chica at 2:25 PM on Apr. 16, 2010

  • Stop trying to please everyone and think about pleasing you. If you are making rational, unselfish choices that are consistent with your beliefs and goals and are not setting out to cause harm, then no one needs to question your choices. Anyone who would insist that you choose between people in your life is the one who needs to examine themselves. The only caveat is if your husband or children have a VALID reason for making such a request. Anyone you don't have a direct responsibility or commitment to... I would just look at them a little crazy and not respond..

    Answer by figaro8895 at 4:18 PM on Apr. 16, 2010

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