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My daughter did not recieve a present at her birthday party, do I say something?

My daughter's friend had a sleepover for her 16th birthday in March. My daughter couldn't make it because we were going out of town. My daughter's 16th birthday was this month. The two girls decided when my daughter got back from vacation they would have a birthday party (sleepover) together to celebrate BOTH their birthdays. We had the sleepover at our house, invited the friend, had a cake and sang to BOTH girls and when it came time to open presents, my daughters friend had no problem opening her gift from us. But when it came time for my daughter to open hers, her friend simply stated "I don't have it yet." A week later and no gift! I've been told to just let it go but I can't.....Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks!

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Asked by Callie140 at 4:36 PM on Apr. 16, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 4 (35 Credits)
Answers (74)
  • Presents are a voluntary action, not a requirement, if you are going to give a gift, it should be out of the goodness of your heart not to expect another in return.

    Answer by older at 4:40 PM on Apr. 16, 2010

  • i am with the other two posters. presents are not required. it is very nice that you got one for your daughter's friend, but you shouldn't give a gift if it is only so that you will receive one in return. i am sure the other girl felt bad, you shouldn't try to make it worse.

    Answer by happy2bmom25 at 4:44 PM on Apr. 16, 2010

  • No, I wouldn't say anything.

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 4:44 PM on Apr. 16, 2010

  • I can see where you and your daughter would feel hurt, as it was a planned sleep-over and the friend knew it was for both their birthdays BUT as another poster said presents are given out of the goodness of your heart and not mandatory. I don't know if the other girl could not afford to buy a present (at that time) maybe she still plans to buy your daughter something, or if she is just someone who is thoughtless and does not do gifts. I would let it go and not say anything to her about it. Although I would think twice about having a joint birthday sleepover with her again.

    Answer by MizLee at 4:51 PM on Apr. 16, 2010

  • No I would leave it alone too. Maybe there's some private $$$ issue. Is it possible that they can't afford a gift right now??? Leave it alone.

    Answer by Me2dznb at 5:07 PM on Apr. 16, 2010

  • We stopped giving gifts to their friends a few years ago. If my kids had their own money fine but I taught them it's not necessary to get and to give is considered extravagant. Friendship is not based on gift giving. My opinion... you hosting the party should have been sufficient a gift to the girl. If you expect it, that's a shame and you should let it go.
    For many people gifts are a luxury item they can not afford.

    Answer by parrishsky at 5:47 PM on Apr. 16, 2010

  • I agree that they are not required. Is your daughter upset? Because her feelings are the ones that really matter and if she is, she is old enough to handle it herself and talk to her friend on her own.

    Answer by newmomma14 at 6:39 PM on Apr. 16, 2010

  • I would let it go. Gifts aren't important and greed is a sin. Maybe the family thought that bc it was a joint party that the girls weren't buying for each other. Don't embarrass yourself by making an issue out of it.

    Answer by LovingSAHMommy at 6:43 PM on Apr. 16, 2010

  • I would not say anything... they may be using every dime for food.

    Answer by jalex at 7:19 PM on Apr. 16, 2010

  • I wouldn't say anything. When we have a sleepover it is just that, a sleepover, even if it were for a birthday it wouldn't occur to me to do gifts. We do family parties where gifts are given.

    Answer by mlregalado at 7:21 PM on Apr. 16, 2010

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