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I have a one year old who is still breast fed. I love breast feeding but he doesnt like anything but breast milk, He always wants to be held, no one can watch him because he cries if hes away from me, Someone please help me. I am going crazy. He always wants me to hold him, he wont sleep alone and I know thats my fault, I thought co sleeping was a great idea but this. I love my baby but Im getting overwelmed now.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:06 PM on Apr. 16, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (6)
  • First: Get the word "fault" out of your vocabulary. There is NO "fault" here for having a NORMAL toddler! So no more of that.

    That said...let me point you to drjaygordon.com...search that site for "sleep" to find a great method for getting baby moved to his own bed.

    You can also set limits. Say, "Not now. You may nurse after 'Barney.'" Or whatever limit you want.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 6:11 PM on Apr. 16, 2010

  • I think it is great that you have nursed him so long. I would just try to gradually eek out a little space, start setting a few small limits at a time. When he is used to those, a little more and so on. He will be fine. Good luck, Mama!
    Hazelnutkin

    Answer by Hazelnutkin at 7:37 PM on Apr. 16, 2010

  • My thing with nursing my daughter was along the lines of its only good for her as long as its good for me... otherwise shed feel my stress at having to nurse her, something i never wanted her to feel. to each their own , i nursed my child til about 19 months. Now when i say that I mean i allowed her to nurse with built restrictions ( not sure that is the right way to put it) At first as needed then once on solids and adapted to them, when hurt or upset ( not tempering about it but upset for other reasons ) , and at bedtime. Really i think your only option is as the lady above said to start having limits, or prolonging. if your child is on solids in a healthy fashion dietary then you can start this. yes it is gearing towards weaning in a sense but doesn't have to mean right away by any means. Just more taking back a bit of your personal space as it seems you are needing some of it back.. This is ok... Be strong my dear!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:49 PM on Apr. 16, 2010

  • I'm in the same EXACT boat as you, but my daughter is 2! I like you also co-sleep, and she breastfeeds, but its also getting a little old with me. We also have a VERY close bond. I just go outside to move my truck, and she thinks im leaving and she loses it. I've been trying to wean her off of breastfeeding and like the other ladies said I just say "Maybe later lets go play or lets go get a snack." Doesn't always work though. All I know is that if I knew it was going to get worse and worse I would be tried a little harder when she was younger. I've also been trying to sleep on the couch till she wakes up when she relizes Im not there an so she can get kind of use of sleeping alone. Just start trying alot now, but its only going to get harder to break him the older he gets,TRUST ME! If you find out good advice let me know!! (ps in the middle of writting this I had to go in there bc she woke up!)
    Trishy7

    Answer by Trishy7 at 11:48 PM on Apr. 16, 2010

  • That website that woman gave you http://drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html is AWESOME!! I think I'm actually going to try that! Actually a doctor that knows how us co-sleeping/ breastfeeding mom feel. My daughters doc has been telling me since she was little to get her in a crib, but like the article says go with your instincts!!
    Trishy7

    Answer by Trishy7 at 12:05 AM on Apr. 17, 2010

  • This is why I HATE people who keep telling me that co-sleeping is the answer to my son's sleeping issues. It's not. I know you want a close bond with your child, but trust me-- I didn't nurse at ALL (because of health reasons, not because I didn't want to), and I tried co-sleeping briefly but got NO sleep-- and my son and I have a fantastic bond... yet he's still independent enough to let me get on with those necessary things that need to get done in everyday life.

    All I can suggest to you is that if you are getting overwhelmed, there's a reason. At a year old he should be eating more than just breast milk-- you aren't doing him any favours. And he NEEDS, physically NEEDS to spend time AWAY from you for his social development. So at this point, you are not only doing what's difficult for YOU, you are not doing what's best for HIM.

    It's time to let him grow up a bit :) You won't regret it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:05 AM on Apr. 17, 2010

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