Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Help settle an argument! I think its silly.

My boyfriend mom calls and asks him to come over this weekend and help clean her carpet. She rented one of those vacs from kroger. Anyway take note that his 25 year old sis stays there, not working. When he told me I kinda blow a little and he asked why so I said, "why can't your mom and sis do that?" I think its silly 2 call you over to do something so small.

Needless to say we got into an argument over this, he thinks I have a prob. with him going over there(I DON'T) and I think some of the things asked of him is ridiculous! Am I wrong???

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:27 AM on Apr. 17, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • If he doesn't have an issue with it just let it go. Its not a big deal my dh drove 3 states over to help his mom clean and prep the house for sale when his sister was up here and could have done like 99% of it. Of course, I think its silly but its his family and people do silly things all of the time because they want to be nice to their family.
    Tf1990

    Answer by Tf1990 at 2:35 AM on Apr. 17, 2010

  • Most likely his Mom just wants him to come over to visit.  But if she asked him to do something for her it makes him feel needed.  If his Mom called and invited you two over for dinner and a movie would you go?  If not then that is why she is asking for the silly favors.  Just  so she can still see him and be in his life.  My older kids are in their mid 20's and I would do the same thing.  Good luck

    Gemaof4

    Answer by Gemaof4 at 3:01 AM on Apr. 17, 2010

  • Alot of men like to feel needed. And if he is a mothers boy then that could also play a part in it. As well as if the mother and daughter got into an arguement or she told her mom she didnt or couldnt do it. I think its stupid for yall to argue over it. Its his mother and she asked him to come over. Let him go, stop argueing with him and get over it. Its not that big of a deal!!!!!!!!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:18 AM on Apr. 17, 2010

  • OMG....GIRL I FEEL YOUR PAIN!!!

    My MIL called my DH over to her house TWICE last week to change a light bulb!! She is in her 30's, perfectly healthy and has a 16 year old daughter living with her. She also calls him over to change her ac filter, give the dog a bath, mow her lawn, GET A FREAKING THING OF SALT OUT OF THE CABINET FOR HER....IT'S INSANE.

    I think it's inappropriate or rediculous.


    My MIL told me that part of my DH's income should go to her because if I hadn't "tempted him with sex" (MIND YOU...we didn't have sex until we were married) that he would have come back home to her after college and he could have helped with the bills!!!

    The women makes 6 figures a year.

    HIRE SOMEBODY! BUDGET!!

    MY GOD WOMEN STAND ON YOUR OWN 2 FEET!!!!

    Ooooohhhhh girl....sorry....You got me started! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:30 AM on Apr. 17, 2010

  • she is probably used to him doing all of the work around the house, dont' say anything to him, let him go, because then you will be the bad guy. In front of him be supportive of his family, because you don't want to stand between him and his family but next time you see his mom or sister, casually mention the fact that they call him for every little thing. Just say like, if you guys are going to be calling so much, we might as well move in together and save on rent. Scare them off a little bit. or you can mention like,"you guys do not know how to do anything, huh? you call him for everything." but do it a little jokingly so they won't get mad but your point will get across. But like I said, dont' say anything in front of your boyfriend, then you will be marked as a bitch, not his mom. Good luck.
    EricandAndreMom

    Answer by EricandAndreMom at 4:32 AM on Apr. 17, 2010

  • Sometimes they make up silly excuses just to spend time with them but have you used one of those things? I tried and having never used one before that experience, I was lost... and it was really heavy once it was full of water and lifting the dirty water was heavy as well. And moving furniture around to clean is rough for most women. It's possible that her daughter living there won't help.
    I lost my Mom and Dad several years ago, but I think had they still been living, I'd hope my hubby wouldn't mind me going to help her if she needed me, or me going to visit her often with absolutely no reason for going other than me wanting to see her.
    When the day is done, the only thing a person can ask for is to be able to lay down and go to sleep with a clear conscience.
    Why not go with him and help him get done faster so he can get back home?
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 6:34 AM on Apr. 17, 2010

  • Maybe she wants to see him. I'd love it if my son would come help me clean my carpets. He could move the furniture for me or could lift the cleaning machine for me. It is just one day of his life. You have the rest of his time so why not just share him that one day?
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:59 AM on Apr. 17, 2010

  • You are wrong and selfish. Unless you're pregnant you need to loosen his apron strings. He is allowed to have a life too.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:24 AM on Apr. 17, 2010

  • I don't want this to sound harsh, but I think it's none of your business how often nor for what purpose your boyfriend goes to his mom's house. He is legally her son. You are legally nothing to him, and therefore have no say-so in what he does or where he goes. I understand that you probably think of him as yours, but in actuality, he has made no vows to you and therefore is free to do whatever he pleases, whenever he pleases. He understands this concept. It's probably why he's not married to you. Women tend to have a much harder time accepting the reality of their single status than do their men. You can throw all the fits you want, but he will still go and clean his mom's carpets. I personally think that he should go clean them for her. Pushing one of those carpet washers is very hard to do and I would want a man doing it if mine needed cleaning.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:39 AM on Apr. 17, 2010

  • You should do him a favor and leave him.... you are not the right woman for him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:23 PM on Apr. 17, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.