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how do you start over

i lost my husband of 31 years. he was the sole breadwinner in our family. i was the stay at home mom taking care of the house and kids. now that hes gone im left taking care of the house,bills , grandchild and two kids one with special needs. i dont quaify for spousal benifts im to young. i havent worked outside the home in years. i really dont have any training or marketable skills. i thought about going back to school. if any one has any ideas on jobs id really appreicate them.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:19 AM on Apr. 17, 2010 in Money & Work

Answers (11)
  • Did you guys have insurance? If so you can invest it in a way that you can mostly live off the proceeds. If not I would make it a household effort. If the kids are old enough to have kids have them get jobs too. I would get a job anywhere you can doing anything you use to do. If you can go back to school I would and try from now on to make the best financial decisions you can. Good luck and I know you can do this! Just go out and even if you can't fake it til you make it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:23 AM on Apr. 17, 2010

  • This is so heartbreaking!

    I strongly recommend school first. Go to a community college and take Microsoft office classes; at the minimum, Word, Excel, Outlook and PowerPoint; (this may not be individual classes. also take at least one basic bookkeeping class.

    Hopefully, your husband had enough life insurance to get you through the next few months.

    There are lots of great tips and resources in the Job Hunting Moms group:

    Feel free to contact me anytime. Soon, you will see this chapter of your life as an adventure, I promise.


    Answer by rkoloms at 7:26 AM on Apr. 17, 2010

  • Go to state services they don't care how old you are, if you have nothing, AND children they will help you!

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:51 AM on Apr. 17, 2010

  • I've never heard of not receiving benefits for a deceased spouse due to age. I know a woman who is in her 30's and her husband died. He left her with 3 kids and she gets his survivor benefits. The kids get it too. Did you go to SS and ask or did someone just tell you that you are too young? If that fails then get on PA. You can get into the swing of working through temp agencies until you find something you like and then stay at that position.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:51 AM on Apr. 17, 2010

  • I'm so sorry this happened to you! Can you get help for your special needs child so you can go to work? Did you have any education before you married? Maybe a brush up course in a school would help. Then I would try a temp agency. They don't offer the security you are used to but they are easier to find work with. Another idea is a home health agency or caring for another special needs person. Many times you don't need a certificate to do this work.

    Answer by CorrinaWithrow at 9:12 AM on Apr. 17, 2010

  • You should get social security, and so should your children until they are 18 - regardless of your age! My dad died when I was 7, my mom was 32 and she received benefits until she remarried, and my brother, sister and I all received benefits as well. Go down to your local social security office and talk to them! Also, your special needs child may be able to qualify for SSI, as well.

    Answer by missanc at 9:28 AM on Apr. 17, 2010

  • You have skills, sweetheart! You are just taking them for granite. Anyone who stays at home has house keeping, cooking, budget awareness, Ohhh how about the skills it takes to take care of a special needs child. Like I said sweetie, you hve just need a marketing technique.... Join groups to meet friends. Hold seminars, write tips for the rest of us that need help and a journal. Ohh another were married "how" long? In my book that gives you quite a bit of insite into making relationships hold together, and makes you an expert of sorts...there are plenty of us that need that kind of advice...just read here on CafeMom! I rest my point! LOL! If you can write, then write for the local paper, columns on these "skills" you didnt realize you have. Its in the Marketing Sweetie! Make you a list of the silliest things you do then decide what you can do to inhance them. Take Paula Deen as an example...hmmmm?

    Answer by lacyjones at 9:49 AM on Apr. 17, 2010

  • I'm sorry. Do what ever you can, but to be honest you need money coming in now, child carer is going to cost alot, it will be a little while before you train for a new job.

    Message me I can help.

    Answer by IraqiVetWife at 10:37 AM on Apr. 17, 2010

  • Apply with Social Services for benefits. In the meantime, why not start your own business. Direct Sales businesses are on the rise. Be your own boss. Work your own hours. Get out of it what you put into it. There really is no limit on what you can make. There are many different types out there to choose from. I love working my Jordan Essentials business.  I'm not limited to territories or how I can sell.  You don't have to do home parties.  I typically sell at craft shows, flea markets, and to friends.  I'm not a slave to deadlines or sales amounts. 

    One of our top sales people was in your position.  Her husband suddenly died & she needed an income. 


    Answer by motherofhope98 at 12:33 PM on Apr. 17, 2010

  • I have a way that can help you in more ways than you can imagine and you can still stay home with the kids. I own a Business that has replaced all my previous income and I only work it PT I am a FT SAHM with two active little girls.
    If you want to chat feel free to message me..I have a special going on right now for only a select few!

    Answer by Happymom2-2 at 7:38 PM on Apr. 17, 2010

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