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MIL/ Mothers day problem

Last year Mothers day turned into a huge argument and I came away hurt as did my MIL. I have spent every mothers day since I got married with my MIL except last year when I decided I had enough and wanted to spend the entire day with my mom not just an hour. My MIL got pissed and said we ruined her day even though we took her out to dinner the day before, I bought her a nice card had the kids make her gifts, we just did everything a day early. Now what do I do this year? I do NOT want to spend it with her and I don't want it to be some fight, oh she never even said happy mothers day to me last year. I know it puts DH in a bad spot so what do we do?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:20 AM on Apr. 17, 2010 in Holidays

Answers (14)
  • Switch off years - that's what many married couples end up doing. Spend one year with your mother, the next with his mother, and the 3rd with just your family, then start over again with your mother. Or just quit spending that particular day with either side and spend it just as you, your husband and kids.
    We go to my mom's every year for lunch, my husband's mom every year for supper - but we're fortunate that we all live within about 10 miles of each other.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 10:25 AM on Apr. 17, 2010

  • i'd go back to her and explain that you have a mother too. (she shouldn't be so selfish). Ask how she would feel lif you just spent an hour with her and the rest of the day with your mom....because that's exactly what she's expecting your mom to put up with.
    Maybe switch up breakfast and dinner at each of thier homes each year?..
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:28 AM on Apr. 17, 2010

  • I will never understand why women put someone else's family before their own.How do you think that makes your mom feel? I think Mother's Day is a pointless holiday but if you want to spend it with your mom than do it.
    SaraP1989

    Answer by SaraP1989 at 10:44 AM on Apr. 17, 2010

  • Spend the day with your Mom and let DH spend the day with his Mom.
    You can have your Mother's Day with your husband and children the day before.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:35 PM on Apr. 17, 2010

  • Spend the day before with your Mom and as well as your DH with his Mom.
    You have your day of Mother's Day with your husband and children. Smile

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:52 PM on Apr. 17, 2010

  • The entire day. Really? What a b*tch! Give her two hours. That is it. YOU have a mother and you ARE a mother. She is not the center of the world. Are there no Grandmothers she has had to share time with? Ask your hubby what they did when he was a little boy and how they split things up among his grandmothers.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:58 PM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • IS THERE ANYWAY YOU CAN DO COMBINED IN YOUR HOUSE FOR BOTH MOMS? SOMETHING YOU WANT TO DO FOR THEIR SPECIAL DAY WITH GRANDKIDS AND FAMILY... IS NOT WORTH TO FEEL LIKE THIS AHEAD OF TIME .... ENJOY THE TIME WITH YOUR FAMILY AND BE HAPPY IT WILL BE YOUR DAY TOO!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:40 PM on Apr. 25, 2010

  • Spend your mother's day with your own children. Visit your MIL the Sunday before and your mom the Sunday after. I my opinion, you've bent over backwards for your MIL already. Personally, I have to spend nearly every holiday with my husband's family, I won't viist my MIL on Mother's Day, but my husband can if he wants.

    Or, if you want to play peace keeper, invite both your mom and his mom over for a Mother's Day cook out or something. If she wants to spend the entire day with your family, she can come to you. This would also allow you to spend the day with your mom and your children.
    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 8:22 AM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • Always offer a Mothers DAy card and gift. Always. Wither you actually spend time with her or not let what each year has in your plans be the guide. But remember her sweetly, kindly no matter how she behaves. She is your spouses Mother and over time she will get use to being honored on Mothers Day. It could sweeten her up. Give it time. And give the pleasure of honoring to her.
    Ms.Upinyourface

    Answer by Ms.Upinyourface at 10:30 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • Are you kidding she acted like a small child and you are going to reward her for it? No way. Have your DH tell Mommy your family will not be available to her this year. it is your Mother's Day too. Also I say that only if she apologized for her actions. If she did not she needs a time out and now.
    lovelibra

    Answer by lovelibra at 12:52 AM on Apr. 27, 2010

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