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If you waiting for marriage before losing your virginity...

What was the defining reason for your decision to wait? Was it your faith, your parent's influence, the social norm for your area? Would you attribute any of it to abstinence only programs?

If you didn't wait, what do you think is the main reason you didn't wait?

I didn't wait. I think I gave in to social pressure. It just seemed like the normal thing and when adults talked about abstinence I guess I just didn't think they knew what they were talking about at the time, like they didn't understand the world of a teenager. I also didn't have much of a conversation about it with my parents other than the blanket "just don't do it." When my mother found out she put me on the pill. After that it just seemed ok as long as I protected myself from STDs and pregnancy. (I was not promiscuous though - four guys all long term relationships lasting 3 or more years).

How about you and your experiences?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:55 AM on Apr. 17, 2010 in Just for Fun

Answers (17)
  • Also what was the time period when you were a teen?

    I was a teen in the 90's.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:56 AM on Apr. 17, 2010

  • I was a teen in 2000. I waited for several reasons, my faith is a part of it because of what I was taught (abstinence), and my own beliefs. I am glad I waited b/c it our made our wedding night so very special. We were high school sweethearts.
    chelleybeans

    Answer by chelleybeans at 11:59 AM on Apr. 17, 2010

  • Op here

    Thanks for sharing chelley. I wasn't raised with a strong religious background and I am curious how much of a role that played in other women's choices. My mother is faithful, but it wasn't a big part of our lives really and my father had drawn away from the Church after he turned about 17. My husband and I are religious and active in our Church now, and I am hoping that relying on our faith will help our children to make the sort of choice that you did.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:02 PM on Apr. 17, 2010

  • This sounds bad...but I lost mine cause I went to a motel with three friends to drink. My friends boyfriend left to go get protection, and his friend went with him. When they were gone, she got a towel and put it on the bed and told my to put my butt at the top of the towel so I don't get blood everywhere...it was that time of the month. Long story short. It was planed out for me and I felt I had to do it. She wanted to have sex... but her boyfriend wouldn't do it if Josh and I wasn't. Stupid huh. I was 17 and scared out of my mind....at that time I wouldn't even sit in a car with a guy if it was running, cause I was scared they might take me up in the hills and rape me or something lol. Cant say that I would have waited till marriage, I wanted to...but as you get older and closer to a man you love...you're ready. I'm a 90s teen, who was a good girl that got turned bad...and finely back to good. But it took many men
    GotToHaveFaith

    Answer by GotToHaveFaith at 12:13 PM on Apr. 17, 2010

  • teen in the late 90's/ early 2000's...

    I was raised in a religious home, and because such my parents didn't teach me sex was wrong, but that you should wait for marriage because sex is a sacred loving act that shouldn't be given to everyone.
    I can't say that I wasn't tempted to have sexual relations, but I chose to resist because I felt in my heart that it was right to wait. Now, married with 4 kids, I am SO grateful I waited. I cannot imagine being with more than one man....I can't imagine being with anyone other than my husband.


    Because I waited I didn't have to worry about getting pregnant as a teen or worry about STD's. I think that is priceless in and of itself.
    sandypops

    Answer by sandypops at 12:19 PM on Apr. 17, 2010

  • I didn't wait. I was a teen in the 2000's as well. I didn't have any particular religious attachment to my hymen. In my mind, sex is just sex, and love is just love and you don't need one to have the other. Yes, they do go well together, but they don't have to be.
    LokisMama

    Answer by LokisMama at 12:25 PM on Apr. 17, 2010

  • Just make sure to talk to them about sex early in life. I think that if I hadn't have gone to that motel....I would have been to scared to do anything. My mom was a teen mom and gave me the sex talk when I was only 7, talk about feeling traped. But if you talk to them about it and how you wished you would have waited, they will listen. My mom only wanted me to be grown before I had a kid. And I didn't have my first till I was 21. If she would have talked more about waiting for marriage, then just not getting pregnant young. It would have made a big differance cause I already wanted to wait...I just got caught up with the wrong people at the wrong time.
    GotToHaveFaith

    Answer by GotToHaveFaith at 12:25 PM on Apr. 17, 2010

  • I didn't wait. DH and started dating when I was 18. We didn't marry until I was 24. WE COULDN'T have held off that long. lol

    KairisMama

    Answer by KairisMama at 12:27 PM on Apr. 17, 2010

  • Both my husband and I waited until our wedding day. I think a lot of that was because of our parents. My parents encouraged my sister and me to remain pure for our future husbands from the time we were very little. They also encouraged us to wait to date until we were sure that he was 'the one'. I didn't have a boyfriend until I was 19 and I knew from the beginning that I was going to marry him. I did. (I was the only woman he dated.) We even waited until we were engaged for our first kiss (we were each others first kiss :) ).
    My sister and her husband went a step further - they waited to kiss until they were at the alter after they said 'I do' (their first kiss ever).
    I am so glad that I waited because it is something very special that my husband and I share. We have been married for almost four years now, have two small boys, and I still get butterflies in my stomach when I think about him. I love him with all my heart.
    YzmaRocks

    Answer by YzmaRocks at 12:28 PM on Apr. 17, 2010

  • I did not wait. I believe it is a milestone in life and psychological development that normally occurs in your late teens. I believe its natural to socially and sexually bond with a mate around this age. I love my DH very much and I think my previous relationships give me better perspective of just how special ours is. I do not have regrets about my previous partners we were in respectful relationships at the time. Don't get up in arms...this is just how I feel on the subject.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:32 PM on Apr. 17, 2010

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