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SAHMs, do u get jealous of the freetime your hubby has?

DH gets 3 times more freedom that i do, he spends his days between work and friends mostly. he goes out to hang with friends 2 or 3 times a week. tho only time i get out is the 2 or 3 nights a week whn i work at the grocery store. even those nights he just drops the baby off at his grandmothers and goes to hang with friends SOME MORE. he hardly ever has to sit home and watch the kids, i always have to take them with me when i go somewhere or plan weeks in advance for grandmothers to keep them, my mom refuses to keep the baby and the other grandmother doesnt feel the need to keep my oldest bc she is an 85 yr old woman and cant keep a lot of kids. i do get about 1 day a month when i can get my hair done or eyebrows arched but thats it and im driving myself crazy. im 26 i just wanna go have a drink and dance sometime but i never get out the house. DH has all the fun and i hate it. i kill myself for the kids n get no time for me!

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Asked by Anonymous at 12:03 PM on Apr. 17, 2010 in Just for Fun

Answers (40)
  • My husband was getting all the free time for awhile. We had a talk about it and made a schedule. We each have one night a week as our "night off", plus we have two nights a week for family time- one for take out and a movie, another just to play. Plus one night a week for us time- that one is very important! That still leaves two nights a week for errands or whatever comes up. Occasionally he'll end up going out on one of the free nights if something is going on with his friends. But it's okay, because I'm in less need of break this way.

    Answer by mandaday at 12:08 PM on Apr. 17, 2010

  • yes..hubby can come and go as he pleases..but if i were to do it all hell would break loose.he comes home at 3 am...drinks...he has turned into a spoiled selfish scumbag since joining the Army...BUT I already said im gonna leave him :) so i wont worry much longer

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:12 PM on Apr. 17, 2010

  • The marriage isn't in balance when one feels cut off from the world and or doesn't get time to yourself. It's unhealthy and the burden of home and family is only placed on one person....wether it goes to the woman or the man. Both parties should respect and allow time for personal space, but likewise, children need mommy time and dady time, and then FAMILY TIME.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:14 PM on Apr. 17, 2010

  • I did when the kids were little.... I remember crying once "you even get to pee alone!!"

    But now the tables are turned and he is jealous of me. All the kids are in school and I get to work out, get to go to museums, get to go to lunch, etc.

    Im soooooo glad I was nice to him when I was jealous... because I know it would have come back to bite me in the butt today had I been bytchy.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:14 PM on Apr. 17, 2010

  • What free time? My husband gets up around 4:45AM 5 days always and most Saturdays, leaves the house around 5:35, then gets home from work between 6:30 and 7:00PM. When he gets home he usually spends a few minutes for himself either on the computer or playing the piano. A couple nights per week he helps me with getting the boys ready for bed but I rarely ever ask him since he works so hard and is tired. Then we spend some time together and go to bed fairly early.
    He is actually going out golfing today (after he works until about 3:00PM) and I am so happy! I want him to go out more often because he doesn't really have time to spend with friends and I go to a womens Bible study every week and spend time with my friends.
    I do understand your frustration though - I would be upset in your situation. I do feel upset occasionally but then I remember what a wonderful guy my hubby is and how hard he works so I can stay home.

    Answer by YzmaRocks at 12:15 PM on Apr. 17, 2010

  • MORE FreeTime???? He works and I don't. I GET more free time than him, lol. I would never say he gets more free time than me. He'd LOVE to stay home and spend the day with his kids. He busts his ass all day dealing with annoying ass customers, and comes home exhausted. He uses his time at home to be with his kids, have some dinner, and relax to some TV. I relax with him of course, for the kids go to bed BEFORE we do. :)


    Answer by Anonymous at 12:24 PM on Apr. 17, 2010

  • My husband doesn't have free time, he works 48h as firefighter then he stays home for 3 days, in those 3 days he's with me and our girls for the most of time, he goes grocery shopping (I don't drive), we go together to doctor appointment, he pays the bills, in the afternoon he stays up so I can take a nap (our DD doesn't sleep throw the night), in the afternoon he takes our older daughter for a walk, and he helps with our girls everytime I need him. The only time he takes for himself is for riding his moto but it happen very rarely and he also run errand for me when he uses the moto. He's trying to push me to go out and make some friends when he's with the kids because I don't have real friends around. I think you have to talk with your husband, and ask him for help, just don't show how much angry you are toward him.

    Answer by shining8250 at 12:38 PM on Apr. 17, 2010

  • Hmm, works so many ways... only if you see being a SAHM as not having free time. Yeah, I have ALL day to play with the kids, but usually I'm cooking, cleaning, chasing after them after they steal the knives or kitchen cleaners... breaking up fights. Has anyone seen Nanny 911 or Supernanny? Yeah, that's my household. Of course, since DF comes home straight after work, he comes straight into chaos and neither of us get "free time" until the kids are in bed. He doesnt really have a lot of friends (he's not a social person) so if I want to go out with the girls every once in a while he's cool with that. His free time is when I "let" him go to the store while I stay with the kids on his day off. Haha...

    Answer by MunchiesMom324 at 12:41 PM on Apr. 17, 2010

  • OP HERE - well if my hubby came home exhausted from work and just wanted to relax with us that wouldnt be a problem, but he will get off work and be home for an hour before asking to go to so and sos house. or he will stay out til 1 am and have to be at work the next morning at 7 and sleep the whole next day bc he tired himself trying to hang out!

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:56 PM on Apr. 17, 2010

  • Sorry, but what kind of a-hole husband does that?? MIne would never (and I can say that because in 10+ years of parenting, he never has) NEVER ditch us for his friends. He needs a serious attitude adjustment. You need to stop it right now, or lose the right to complain. You BOTH have kids, not just you, and he needs to pull his head out of his butt and be a DAD first, and a friend if and when he has time. You have some training (of your husband) to do, mama.

    Answer by Pnukey at 12:58 PM on Apr. 17, 2010

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