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am i just being mean?

My brother in law has a three year old and a five year old. i have a four and five year old. my mil offered up my babysitting services to him without asking me first. She wants me to get my kids up and drive over to his house 5 days a week cuz his son has to be picked up at his house and dropped off for preschool as ordered by cpc. my husband doesnt want me to do it, and i dont want too. my nephew is not a nice child and i just dont think i can take care of four kids. i will never get any of my own housework done. and now my mil is mad cuz we said no. my hsband, her son, said it was to much to ask of us. i understand my brother in law is broke and my mil said i should do it to help him out. i really dont want to and am beening made to feel guilty for it. am i wrong? keep in mind i have depression and i really think taking care ofr four kids under 5 will be to much. am i beening selfish?

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jamiethornton26

Asked by jamiethornton26 at 5:23 PM on Apr. 17, 2010 in Relationships

Level 11 (536 Credits)
Answers (21)
  • Your not being selfish at all! You have to take care of yourself first before anyone else, or how are you supposed to be a good mom for your own children? It was WAY WRONG of your MIL to off you up as a babysitting service, especailly for free.
    Why doesn't your husband offer up your MIL to babysit his kids? lol Sounds fair to me...
    She needs to stay out of his business and out of your lives!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:25 PM on Apr. 17, 2010

  • I'd say that if your mil is so concerned she needs to do it. I understand that your BIL may need help but maybe theres a happy medium to where you're helping enough to get them off your back but not enough for it to be a strain on you. Maybe just dropping the kids off at the preschool would be enough but then depending on how far it is that may be too much. And you meant CPS right?
    I'd just tell them flat out how it is. If you can't do it then you can't. Don't feel bad. You have to deal with yourself and your family first.
    By the way why isn't your MIL volunteering herself?
    2murphyboys

    Answer by 2murphyboys at 5:33 PM on Apr. 17, 2010

  • no way! even if you didnt have depression 4 kids under 5 is a LOT. and if you and your husband are both against it then no, you shouldnt. they will get over it.
    jennifer588

    Answer by jennifer588 at 5:34 PM on Apr. 17, 2010

  • i think she thinks that because i dont work im not doing anything cuz she has never been a stay at home mo mand yes i ment cps, lol! i told her maybe id do it a day or two but not 5 days a wk. and she was like well i just think that will help him out if you do it. i have a small two door car and cant fit all the kids in it. plus i do alot with my kids and my grandparents. i dont want to be tied up with other kids but i do love my niece and nephew
    jamiethornton26

    Answer by jamiethornton26 at 5:36 PM on Apr. 17, 2010

  • i do not think your selfish I think your honest my mom would do stuff like that she would volunteer us to help people and they would call us and we would be like what. If we said no she would call us and yell. What they do not realize when they volunteer you is they are not the ones who have to do it.

    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 5:40 PM on Apr. 17, 2010

  • Tell MIL to do it
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:45 PM on Apr. 17, 2010

  • Maybe if you offered to watch the kiddies one evening a week so that he could have some time to himself. Where's the mommy in all this?
    2murphyboys

    Answer by 2murphyboys at 6:01 PM on Apr. 17, 2010

  • their mother is awful and is not with my bil. he is a single dad but lives with his gf. i give him credit for stepping up and taking care of his kids. he gets laid off in the winter with my husband. we all told him all winter that he needed to make arrangments for child care and he just didnt do it. now he will start work in a few weeks and doesnt know what to do. daycare will cost him 350 a wk. while i feel for him i just cant be expected to care for four kids under 5. if i wanted that many kids i wont have had my tubes tied
    jamiethornton26

    Answer by jamiethornton26 at 6:10 PM on Apr. 17, 2010

  • You are not being selfish. Your MIL is wrong. Your services are not HERS to offer. If she's that upset about it, she sould do it, you have enough on your plate. They will get over it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:32 PM on Apr. 17, 2010

  • Tell your mother in law that if she wants someone to help him... Get off HER ass and do it herself.
    TinaN64

    Answer by TinaN64 at 6:36 PM on Apr. 17, 2010

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