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I'm scared... am I overreacting?

I broke up with my alcoholic boyfriend in sept... last time I talked to him was in oct. After we broke up, he would show up at my house drunk and one time he tried to choke me (he said he was trying to kiss me) He would call and leave msgs as if we were still together. We were together for almost 3 years and broke up a lot throughout our relationship... he was always drunk and never around. I finally ended it for good in sept. because I couldn't take the verbal abuse or drinking anymore. It's been 7 mths and recently he started sending me emails... he also told my friend he tried to call like 200 times the other night. When he talks to others, he makes it sound like we are still together. I am extremely scared of him and from what I have read, a lot of these situations end badly. I don't know what to do anymore... I have not talked to him at all and made it very clear 7mths ago that it was over for good.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:35 PM on Apr. 17, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • Get a restraining order now!!! These are the kinds of men who kill women.
    danielp

    Answer by danielp at 8:36 PM on Apr. 17, 2010

  • restraining order! now! and if they wont give you one just let them know you are very scared of this man and why. let the police know!
    jennifer588

    Answer by jennifer588 at 8:39 PM on Apr. 17, 2010

  • talk to the police. get a restraining order. you have a right to be scared, I would be too
    AirForceWife14

    Answer by AirForceWife14 at 9:03 PM on Apr. 17, 2010

  • *SCREAMING!!* Get a RESTRAINING ORDER...Now! Go to the Cops ASAP! Be careful!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:22 PM on Apr. 17, 2010

  • Restraining order, I know it sucks but it sounds like he needs someone other than you to tell him to leave you alone. I went through something similar with an ex and it was the wake-up call the guy needed to realize I was really finished with his bs. All you have to do is fill out some paperwork telling them how what's gone on since the break up. I took some copies of his messages and emails but the judge just looked at what I had written on the paperwork and granted me the restraining order right there. You will have to appear when they tell you but it's really not as bad as it sounds and it really seems like your best decision right now. Good luck!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:34 PM on Apr. 17, 2010

  • RESTRAINING ORDER!!!!! Also look into getting into a safe house. You need him to get a clear message that you're not interested. You need to keep safe.
    melriah30

    Answer by melriah30 at 9:46 PM on Apr. 17, 2010

  • Did your phone ring 200 times the other night? If not, then he's just talking garbage.... I'm not saying don't consider him any threat at all since he has attempted to hurt you in the past. I'd talk to a police officer, in person and ask what you should do, if he's not actually calling you or coming by your residence or work then he's not stalking you (is he?), but you should be able to get one just for the reason you're scared of him. That piece of paper won't stop someone tho unfortunately so I recommend carrying some mace/pepper spray and possibly getting a dog that might help you feel more safe (I personally love German Shepherds and they're very protective and you could purchase one that's had some training, or find one at a rescue place that would benefit both you and the dog.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 9:50 PM on Apr. 17, 2010

  • be careful and get a RESTRAINING ORDER. HE IS VIOLENT. u dont need this nonsence and when anyone asks about what hes has to say about u as a couple just say u hv a restraining order and stop at that. that all by itself should make it clear to others that u dont want anything to do with him. and stay away from him. u did the right thing. he is clearly a looser that u need to loose permanently. good luck and b careful!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:09 PM on Apr. 17, 2010

  • I agree, get a R.O
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:10 PM on Apr. 17, 2010

  • Yup, get a RO now. I broke it off with my alcoholic boyfriend many years ago and he stalked me. I saw him a few times, but didn't think too much about it. When we got back together, he told me how he was 'everywhere I was' and when I said I saw him a few times, but nowhere else, he said, "You couldn't possibly have seen me." That freaked me out so bad I dumped him and never talked to him again or responded to calls, postcards (he moved to AZ, which was where I wanted to move to and he didn't) or anything.

    I say tell someone about the issues so they are aware of it and make sure he can't be near you.
    rio_burb

    Answer by rio_burb at 10:12 PM on Apr. 18, 2010

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