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How do I get to know my SIL's?

They're nice, they're just SO different from me and 10+ years older than me. I'm kind of a "country bumpkin" compared to them, and at 28, I think they view me as a little girl. Whenever I say anything, they correct me and I think they'll never be convinced that I really love their brother. I just end up withdrawing around them, but DH thinks I'm either being antisocial or argumentative. I feel like I'm 12 again and can never say the right thing! I'm confident in who I am, but don't feel like putting myself out there anymore. We've only seen them a couple times a year in our 4 years of marriage. Supposed to go again in June. I'm not looking forward to it, just wish hubby was more supportive and understanding instead of defensive. I DO want to get along with them, I just don't know how!

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:21 AM on Apr. 18, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (4)
  • You should find out from your brother things that you might have in common with them. You'd be surprised by the littlest things that can start a good friendship. One of my best friends worked with me three years before we really spoke more than two words to each other she admitted she thought I was a snob and she says now she doesn't know why. I thought she hated my guts because she always had a mean face on lol. Sometimes when we feel uncomfortable we make weird faces or use a strange tone of voice and theres always the possibility you're doing that and don't even know it? Who knows they probably feel old around a pretty young girl! Maybe they like the same books you read, scrapbook or something every day that you can find common ground on. Pick something neutral not politics or anything like that. Good luck
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:38 AM on Apr. 18, 2010

  • ha good luck. my sil is a month younger than me and is like that. just tries to correct me all the time and she doesnt think im "good enough" for her brother. and all he sais is you should just try harder to get along with her. ya right. it has to go both ways. you cant win em all.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:26 AM on Apr. 18, 2010

  • I have the opposite problem... I am 8 years older than one of my S/O's sisters and 13 years older than the other one. It's kinda weird when my 10 year old daughter is closer in age to his 18 yr old sister than I am at age 31 LOL But I feel ya... it's hard to find common ground with them when there is such a noticeable age gap.
    paralegalmommy

    Answer by paralegalmommy at 12:38 AM on Apr. 18, 2010

  • I was with my ex for a little over 22 yrs, I never did get to know my SIL very much. The only thing we had in common was her brother and we were both female. I think she always looked down on me for being a SAHM when she had her career. We didn't see each other much, living two states away from each other. It bothered me for a long time, then I got to where I didn't really care anymore. I now have 2 BIL's & we don't talk to either of them if we can help it.

    I'm not sure what to tell you though, if it were me, I'd have a problem with being corrected all the time. If you're on facebook maybe invite them to your page and start letting them know who you are outside of your marriage. If nothing else, if they still treat you the same way in emails and such, at least you have something you can show your DH so he can see what you're trying to tell him.
    daisy521

    Answer by daisy521 at 4:57 AM on Apr. 18, 2010