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Me and my reborn, do you think I'm crazy?

In May of 2007 I gave birth to a premature baby girl weighing 2pounds 5 ounces. She passed due to complications prior to her birth. I have mourned her loss in my own subtle ways and can no longer have a child of my own. I live in an apartment barely making ends meet it seems and I cannot have ANY pets where I live. I am fine with that since I work too many hours to give the love and attention to a pet. I also could not afford to adopt a baby or child. So I resorted to the last thing possible. I saved up money for almost a year and purchased a Reborn named Kristen. I do treat her like a real baby when I am home. I hold her, I talk to her, and occassionally hold her while I sleep. Its helped me tremendously with the loss of my own child. I have even taken her out in public and allowed people to admire her for brief amounts of time. I was wondering, does this make me a crazy person? I have been doing this for about a month now.


Asked by Anonymous at 7:29 AM on Apr. 18, 2010 in Babies (0-12 months)

This question is closed.
Answers (21)
  • Girl I still sleep with my childhood blankie when my kids are at their dads house. You do what you have to do to cope and if that doll makes you happy, go for it. You're not hurting anybody!

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:03 PM on Apr. 19, 2010

  • You are not crazy, but I do feel that you need help.. Talk to someone.. Find a doctor..

    Answer by Mad_Hexer at 7:51 AM on Apr. 18, 2010

  • I think you should consider talking to someone who can help you find more ways to deal with the pain of this loss. Maybe a support group for women who have lost babies. I bet your hospital can recommend a group for you. Even if you don't think you need help sometimes its nice to know you aren't alone and to have someone to get through this together with.

    Answer by MamaChamp at 8:01 AM on Apr. 18, 2010

  • no not crazy but it is time to talk to a professional to deal with the grief. yanno using the doll at home to help you find an outlet for the maternal love, not a bad idea, it prolly odes help. but the whole taking her out, letting people look at her, like she is real, thats borderline worrisome hon.
    call a doc who deals in death of children, and good luck to you. I am sorry for your loss.(hugs)

    Answer by Bearsjen at 8:04 AM on Apr. 18, 2010

  • Keeping Kristen at home is one thing but in public that another thing. That does seem odd.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:53 AM on Apr. 18, 2010

  • No not crazy.. here is a website & a quote from it:
    Parental grief is boundless. It touches every aspect of [a] parent's being...When a baby dies, parents grieve for the rest of their lives. Their grief becomes part of them...As time passes, parents come to appreciate that grief is [their] link to the child, [their] grief keeps [them] connected to the child.
    Also I suggest reading book- ‪Dealing Creatively with Death: A Manual of Death Education and Simple Burial‬ By Ernest Morgan

    Answer by maiahlynn at 9:41 AM on Apr. 18, 2010

  • I think it means that you have a lot of emotions that you need to share and relationships that perhaps you need to take time to form. Having the doll is helping you, and that's a good thing but its not exactly a normal thing. You need to find someone to talk to so that you can handle your grief in a way that will move you forward in life instead of paralyzing you at the moment of trauma. I'm so very sorry for your loss but I hope the loss of your child does not become the loss of yourself.

    Answer by mrs_pulley at 9:43 AM on Apr. 18, 2010

    I recommend buying something from this site they make jewelry, child loss keepsakes.. wearing something like this may help
    when I had a miscarriage after being pregnant 4 months, I did much worse I think caring a doll is better than doing drugs or trying to kill yourself.. also you could write a letter to your baby & how much you miss her/love her.. don't worry about being "normal" just worry about taking care of yourself eating right, going to work, & hanging out with family/friends..

    Answer by maiahlynn at 9:52 AM on Apr. 18, 2010

  • I dont think that you are crazy, I would be the last person to call anyone crazy. I do think that you need to talk to a therapist, I think that they can offer you a lot of advice and resources to help you get through this.

    Oh! And before this point, I had never heard of a reborn before, I had to look it up to see what they were. They are very impressive, just curious, how much do they cost? They look really expensive!

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:22 AM on Apr. 18, 2010

  • I dont think youre crazy. I think you are trying to deal with the loss of your daughter in the only way possible. I cant even imagine. I am so sorry. I would consult a therapist. They may be able to help you a little. Hugs.

    Answer by FDNYwife at 10:53 AM on Apr. 18, 2010