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my husband doesn't sleep with me because I snore but i have a CPAP machine and well..

it makes this bubbling noise when I wear it so I will keep the mask on as long as I can put up with it but when I take it off he goes to the couch even if I'm not shoring.
This really does hurt and makes me feel worthless and if I say anything he tells me he won't sleep with me unless I have the breathing mask on.
so last night he came into my bed only after I had the mask on, then the bubbling noise got so annoying that at 3 am I took it off and laid there for a few minutes just thinking to myself and suddenly he gets up and heads for the couch....I wasn't making a sound and he abandons me!
I feel like a part of me is wasting away from this type of treatment, i'm the wife not the housekeeper that can be "poked" every now and then

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:20 AM on Apr. 18, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • Is the bubbling noise because the condensation builds up in the tubing? If it wakes you up, can you drain out the water and put it back on? I know and you know that you are using it for YOUR HEALTH and the more you wear it the better you are overall. I'm a little surprised that he doesn't mind sleeping with you with it on. My dad got one and mom bought twin beds after that. (It's okay, he's 80 and she's 77, lol...) She didn't like the "exhaust" as she called it as he exhaled with it. I personally would do whatever makes him stay in bed with me, unless you two can work out some sort of arrangement for sex at predetermined "date nights" and put up with sleeping alone in bed. Good luck!
    kjrn79

    Answer by kjrn79 at 9:35 AM on Apr. 18, 2010

  • Is it supposed to make that sound if not can u get another.
    mamaofficer

    Answer by mamaofficer at 9:37 AM on Apr. 18, 2010

  • My dad has a cpap machine and I hate to say it, but they are very disruptive to sleep. My mom is going nuts with it and its affecting her sleep, too. Its actually when he takes it off that its the worst because it starts making a whole other noise. Yours may not be doing this, but maybe your husband thinks you'll put it back on or that he's already been up so long because of it, he'd rather leave and get true rest elsewhere. I don't think the sleeping arrangement is the big issue. If you were otherwise happy, you wouldn't be too upset about the machine (though I totally think its worthwhile to talk to the specialist who gave it to you and explain the situation). You obviously associate sleeping together with emotional intimacy so he needs to step up the emotional bond outside the bedroom if he's not going to stay. Your problem seems to come from lack of communication and understanding so that's what needs to be addressed.
    mrs_pulley

    Answer by mrs_pulley at 9:49 AM on Apr. 18, 2010

  • I don't know what is wrong with the machine, it is quiet all the time except for the water bubbling... the replacement parts are spendy...so is husband replacement, lol (stupid morning humor..sorry)
    I will just tell him he needs to figure out what is wrong with the machine if he wants any kind of sex of cuddling,

    op...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:17 AM on Apr. 18, 2010

  • Well, you need to figure out what's up with the machine, because by not using it, you are damaging your heart when you sleep. You're lessening your lifespan. And your husband needs to know this so he can deal with it. My mom uses one, and she's going to force my dad into a sleep study to get one because he's needed one for years.

    Also, if you're overweight, look into losing a bunch of weight so that you won't NEED the CPAP any more. That's the main cause of apnea.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:42 AM on Apr. 18, 2010

  • I guess I'm not seeing how him needing his sleep directly affects your worth. He's not abandoning you, he's getting sleep. I know if i don't get my sleep, I'm am incredibly cranky. I really think you're projecting your issues on him. He just wants sleep!

    nwdeserangel

    Answer by nwdeserangel at 12:30 PM on Apr. 18, 2010

  • I have one and no one can hear anything on mine. I had to share a motel room with my adult daughter and she was shocked at how quiet mine is. Do you have a humidifier attached? If so, maybe that's where the bubbling sound is coming from. Just turn that off. Call the place you got it and tell them the problem. They can advise. My x left me over my snoring so I understand your feelings. Then I went for the sleep study and got the machine (I use a bi-pap) and all is well now. I don't even miss the x anymore!
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:24 PM on Apr. 18, 2010

  • My spouse's Cpap machine is fairly quiet; more like a white noise machine. I would call the company and get it replaced.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 5:41 PM on Apr. 18, 2010

  • I agree with the weight advice. I had sleep apnea and got the cpap machine (barely used it cause it was horribly uncomfortable for me) and now I don't need it since I lost 68 lbs. I still have another 60 to lose but I don't really snore now and I don't stop breathing at all when I sleep. Some people tell me they are comfy and love having it...not me, hated it beyond belief. Glad I was able to send it back. It wasn't noisy though, but just not comfy. My STBX husband though...could use one of those machines and he would never go for a sleep test. I'd have to wait up all night til I was literally falling asleep to go to bed 'cause he was in there snoring down the house! I had to sleep opposite end of him on top of it.
    rio_burb

    Answer by rio_burb at 9:55 PM on Apr. 18, 2010

  • I have had sleep apnea since I was a teen...it is not a weight issue....just wanted to clear that up. I did go to ask.com
    and put in a few key words and found some great sleep apnea sights that offer online support.
    Thanks for all the advice!!

    op.....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:52 PM on Apr. 18, 2010

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