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My husband is always taking the Lord's name in vain and it repulses me and now my son has been saying

God's name in vain and want to know why it is wrong. I want to take him to church but my husband doesn't trust the church.
I have always tried to be the best christian I can be. I sometimes wonder what the heck I was thinking to marry this guy!! He gets mad if i tell him to stop saying the G.D word or J.C word. I tell him I would rather him say "son of 'a b#tch, then saying those other 2 things.
How can I get through to him and make sure my son loves jesus

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:46 AM on Apr. 18, 2010 in Religion & Beliefs

Answers (10)
  • Even though he feels differently than you, he should still respect your wishes when it's regarding your son. Obviously, your husband is not going to stop, so you're going to have to figure out some way to keep your son from saying it. Try telling him that just because daddy says it doesn't mean he should say it. Let him know you don't think it's a nice thing to say and maybe give alternatives to those phrases...maybe even a small reward when he uses the non-insulting' one. Don't use punishment for saying it because might drive a wedge further into your marriage- use positive ways to deal with the situation.

    IhartU

    Answer by IhartU at 9:52 AM on Apr. 18, 2010

  • There isn't much more you can do. YOu have asked him to respect your views and he has decided not to. YOu can't MAKE someone be something they aren't or become something they don't want to be. It is unfortunate that this didn't come up before having a child together. Just do the best you can your son will eventually have to choose for himself who's 'side' he is going to be on.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:53 AM on Apr. 18, 2010

  • when my husband does that I always end it in ....Loves me or something like that, so it sounds like he said "JC loves me" or "G*d loves me"...
    I hate when he does it, and I don't know where or when he picked it up but my husband started taking His name in vain out of the blue....he never used to do it. It fills me with shame and it makes me really angry that he doesn't care what I think or how I feel about it.
    I'm getting angry just thinking about it. I don't want our kids to grow up like that...saying that sort of thing.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:55 AM on Apr. 18, 2010

  • you created and unequally yolked relationship. This is the consequence. I'm so sorry. Just keep doing what you are doing. It doesn't hurt to try. Thogh I do agree you should not push DH to hard he will only resent you more.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:55 AM on Apr. 18, 2010

  • Have you explained why it bothers you? not from a religious perspective, but as a respect issue? I think if you say that you feel like your personal values are being disrespected when he says those things and that you're upset that he's using offensive language in front of your child, he ought to be willing to watch his mouth. It may not be important to him, but it matters a lot to you and every marriage has issues that are rooted in mutual respect.
    mrs_pulley

    Answer by mrs_pulley at 9:58 AM on Apr. 18, 2010

  • I am the world worst for saying F_ _ _ and D_ _ _ it. and such. I tell my children that those are grown up words and when they are 18 they can decide whether or not they want to use them. So far so good. DS is almost 6.
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 9:58 AM on Apr. 18, 2010

  • op here...
    I think telling my son that all bad words are for adults and have to be 18 to say it would be a good idea.
    When my husband takes the Lords name in vain I usually ask him if he is praying because that is the only time I care to hear those words,
    all I can do is pray for him to have the wisdom and knowledge to use better words
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:06 AM on Apr. 18, 2010

  • YOU CAN'T!

    Your husband is an adult and can speak however he pleases.

    Your son is his own individual, and while you CAN dictate what words he is and is not allowed to say, you CANNOT MAKE HIM LOVE JESUS or anyone/thing else.
    MamaK88

    Answer by MamaK88 at 12:02 PM on Apr. 18, 2010

  • I encourage you to stop badgering him about it. I also encourage you to not dishonor your husband by speaking evil of him.
    Let God take care of your husband and you teach your son that it is wrong to speak like that. No one can be the best Christian they can be in their own strength. Have church at home just you and your son, teach him bible truths about how to treat others, respect and honor parents, to love love love others no matter who they are or where they come from. Loving in this way by no means oks sin but it blesses the person. Teach your son to bless Jesus and to pray. I have heard stories of parents changing when they see the child setting an amazing example of love and mercy.
    Lastly.. BLESS YOUR HUSBAND! Speak good of him no matter what.. there is power in what you say.
    Shaneagle777

    Answer by Shaneagle777 at 1:14 PM on Apr. 18, 2010

  • She isn't trying to speak bad of her husband. She has a genuine problem and is trying to seek help. She isn't bashing him. Saying nothing "bad" about your husband when he is truly doing something he shouldn't can get many women stuck in bad situations, abusive ones, etc.
    You can't make your DH stop... he'll say what he wants, and it is like a slap in the face... I know.
    You CAN make it a rule that your son can't say those words.
    Tell you husband to prove the church is 'evil' and when he can come up with concrete proof, then you won;t take your son. Tell him at the very least your son can make friends and have good morals.
    it is unfortunate that he disrespects you in that way. You can seek counselling, though it seems small, it seems to be causing a rift in your relationship.
    missbreezy214

    Answer by missbreezy214 at 11:19 AM on Apr. 19, 2010

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