Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

do you think this is wrong of me to want?

i am pregnant with my 2nd and 3rd child:) this will be my last dh the first time i was pregnant was a saint. and this time he hasnt even wanted to feel them kicking...he says hes already been thru all of this with our first so this one is the same thing. he hasnt been very supportive so far(im 21 weeks) and yesterday just told me he hated me.well, he felt bad after wards about that so he tried to be sweet(cooked dinner,tried to be lovey dovey on me).anyways, he just hasnt been "involved" in this preganncy as hewas the last,nothing,no names,nointerest in apptments or ultrasounds, i want to be alone in the delivery myself,maybe my mom in there(maybe).is this wrong?


Asked by Anonymous at 11:58 AM on Apr. 18, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • I think it's unwise to make decisions like that when you're super-hormonal. Better to have a calm conversation with your husband about your feelings.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:01 PM on Apr. 18, 2010

  • you're right anon:01. i KNOW that. and i dont feel like im doing this out of spite. i feel like someone who has taken no interest in my babies this whole 9 months shouldnt need to see such a beautiful moment. he said to me the other day when i said he should care about his babies(when asked if he wanted to come see the us) he said "they arent even people yet" WTF?~op

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:04 PM on Apr. 18, 2010

  • I think I agree with anon on this one.

    Answer by TBandNCmommy at 12:04 PM on Apr. 18, 2010

  • Yes it is wrong. It is a father's right to be there as long as he isn't causing any problems that would affect the labor and delivery.

    There may be a lot going on that you aren't sharing. You may be downplaying your role in the situation. If things are this bad during the pregnancy then they may be even worse after the babies are born. Getting counseling now may help save your marriage.

    Some women think they can behave however they want during pregnancy and blame it on the pregnancy or on hormones. Then they wonder why their husband isn't as excited as they are! I don't know if this is what's going on but it's common.


    Answer by Gailll at 12:07 PM on Apr. 18, 2010

  • really gailll its the fathers RIGHT?

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:11 PM on Apr. 18, 2010

  • I agree with the first anon. And do yourself a favor and don't listen to Gaill. She is being rude again and again doesn't seem to have any real grasp of the situation.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:11 PM on Apr. 18, 2010

  • sounds to me like he is scared. do you work? sounds like he is fretting having to be financially responsible for a family of 5. Men get scared and dont always express it in the best way. How old are you both?

    talk talk talk talk.......... if you can get him to open up alone with out a counselor - great... if need be see if a professional can help you two through this.


    Answer by Anonymous at 12:11 PM on Apr. 18, 2010

  • I agree with Gailll... there are women that abuse there power of being pregnant... they become monsters without knowing and then over analyze why the husbands behavior has changed... I CAN BELIEVE THAT HE JUST TURNED TO YOU OUT OF THE NO WHERE AND TOLD YOU THAT HE HATES YOU.... cmon

    Answer by iliana90 at 12:12 PM on Apr. 18, 2010

  • i meant i CANT BELIEVE

    Answer by iliana90 at 12:13 PM on Apr. 18, 2010

  • anon :11 here.........

    do not start off expressing YOUR feeling........ please start off by asking him about HIS feelings.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:14 PM on Apr. 18, 2010