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My internal Debate..

My husband & I have an appointment tomorrow @ a fertility clinic. We are interested in both egg donation & surrogacy. The idea of being able to fill someones void- I couldnt imagine what Id do w/ my life if I was able to conceive on my own. My husband & I are young & have an 8m old son. If we got chosen for egg donation or surrogacy the $$ aspect could really help us..
My debate. One of my sister's family members & his wife cannot have ANOTHER child. His wife has a blod clotting disorder & does not hold folic acid- which has caused her to have NUMEROUS miscarriages. They have one son- but really want another child. They have seen several fertility specialists & they have been told their options are surrogacy or adoption. They make decent money- but both cost ALOT.
Do I do it, for free? For less that I would make with an agency?
They already have one, would it be better to do it for someone who doesnt have any kids?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:44 PM on Apr. 18, 2010 in Health

Answers (4)
  • I really don't have any advice for you, but I think it's awesome that you're doing this! Whichever way you decide, you are giving the most precious gift ever! We need more people like you out in the world!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:54 PM on Apr. 18, 2010

  • I personally couldnt do that for someone I knew. Every single parenting choice they made for the rest of that babies life I would question...... is it what I would do. Every time I looked at that child I would see myself.

    It maybe VERY selfish of me... but I couldnt do it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:58 PM on Apr. 18, 2010

  • I had looked into surrogacy... Yes, the money would REALLY help, and I love being pregnant... But I know with my children, I loved them from the moment I had 2 lines on a test. I bonded with them... If I were to be a surrogate for someone I knew it would feel (to me) like I was watching someone raise MY kid. I figured out that I'm too selfish for adoption and the only difference between the two is the DNA. I dont think I could carry a child full term and then just hand them over... but thats just my personal opinion.

    If you feel like you can overcome those maternal feelings to a child thats not YOURS, then go for it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:38 PM on Apr. 18, 2010

  • The difference between egg donation and surrogacy is that if you are a surrogate, the child will have NONE of your DNA. The child will not be biologically "yours" in any way.

    While I might not charge them the money that a fertility clinic might, I would still request they pay medical care and some expenses. After all, you have to consider maternity clothes, food, leave from work, things like that.

    Answer by ma23 at 2:29 AM on Apr. 19, 2010

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