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HELP!!!

My kids have no respect towards me or my dh. It's my fault, I know this, so please no bashing. They walk all over me, I ask them to do something and I get an eye roll, if I'm lucky, usually they just keep doing what ever they want to do. My house is trashed everyday. I'm not talking crayons, some toys, and what not. I mean dishes all over the floor, food taken into the room no matter how many times I tell them not to, clothes are thrown on the floor straight from the clean and folded laundry (they just didnt' want to put it up) spills never cleaned up, jelly on the counter and floor, remotes lost, shoes everywhere, homework hasn't been done in a while because they don't bring it home. When they do, they throw it away.
My life is spinning out of control, they have no respect for their stuff or for eachother. I am tired of yellng. Tired of crying. Just tired of everything and this isn't helping.

 
Peanut_Farley

Asked by Peanut_Farley at 4:42 PM on Apr. 18, 2010 in General Parenting

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This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • i'd seriously think about setting down with DH and explaining that the only way things are going to get better is if IL's quit butting in. you and him need to talk to IL's and tell them 'these are our kids, we will raise them how we see fit and please do as we ask or you won't be visiting with them'. (you will need DH to go along with this!) I had to do this with my mom because she kept wanting to go behind my back and do things with my daughter that i didn't want her too. that should help some of the problems with the IL's changing rules.
    Tarable525

    Answer by Tarable525 at 7:46 PM on Apr. 18, 2010

  • I just don't know what to do anymore. I have a chore list tell them over and over to do it. They don't. I have rules, they break them no matter how big or small they are. Their rooms have stuff all over the floor, clothes, toys, trash trash trash, and gunk. My house smells like a locker room, my floors are stained beyond repair (we've only been here 6 mo) they color on the walls with anything they can find. I tell them to clean their rooms and they'll spen from when they get home from school (3:15) untill dinner time (6:00) and it's still not done. They don't care.
    Peanut_Farley

    Answer by Peanut_Farley at 4:44 PM on Apr. 18, 2010

  • I would take everything out of their rooms except the bed. If they want clothes they come to you to get them and turn in the dirty ones. They have no respect for you or your home. There would be no games , T.V. computer until they learned some respect. How old are you kids ?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:01 PM on Apr. 18, 2010

  • oops did not mean to go anon
    EternalDreams

    Answer by EternalDreams at 5:01 PM on Apr. 18, 2010

  • My oldest is 10, she will keep her sister up all night again no matter what is said or done. She lies to everyone, her teachers and myself don't believer her....ever. She sneaks food into her room, hides it then says she didn't do it. Mainly the clean clothes in the dirty clothes is her. SHe'll put dirty clothes in with her clean ones, or just hide them and the complain that she has no clothes.
    My boys are both 8. Trev will be 9 in july and ethan will be 9 in Sept.
    Gracie is 5. She is the ONLY one that I don't have problems with.
    Peanut_Farley

    Answer by Peanut_Farley at 5:08 PM on Apr. 18, 2010

  • Like right now, I've told Trevor to sit and read a book, a few times. I've sat him up myself and handed him the book a few times so he's reading right now....nope he laid down again and is sleeping.
    Peanut_Farley

    Answer by Peanut_Farley at 5:18 PM on Apr. 18, 2010

  • Respect is earned, it doesn't happen over night, you are trying to correct something that could have been stopped since the first disrespect was evolved. But you already know this, now is going to be twice as hard to attain but not impossible. You need to get your act together and start making consequences for that disrespect and take away the things they enjoy and tell them they can have them back when there is respect for your rules. Put them up on a board, and check out who abides and who doesn't and set a punishment for each. You have forgoten that you are the boss, use your authority wisely!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    older

    Answer by older at 5:21 PM on Apr. 18, 2010

  • Wow...try taking all her things... see if not having anything will help her learn to take care of things. That until she respects you and your home they only thing she will have is a bed.

    EternalDreams

    Answer by EternalDreams at 5:23 PM on Apr. 18, 2010

  • You need a parenting class.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 5:25 PM on Apr. 18, 2010

  • My mom had a handy solution for stuff like that. Everything that was not put away got thrown away. I'm serious. She meant it too. She didn't care how much it cost either. That meant clothes, shoes, gameboy, everything. Her philosophy was that if you don't respect then she didn't so it got tossed. I followed a similar one but I donated and didn't throw away. It still worked. As for the food, lock it up. I mean it. Put a lock on the cabinets and refrigerator so they can't get in it. I know it's extreme but you sound like it's out of control bad. You have to mean what you say and say what you mean. You can't threaten and then let it go. Writing on the walls? Get some paint and let them paint it. Make them clean up their own messes. Stand over them and make sure it gets done. Is dad around to help you with this? Put up a united front and get these kids back in line before it's too late.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:42 PM on Apr. 18, 2010

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