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Am I being a bitch?

Ok....We are broke. My DH owes alimony and child support. That alone comes up to over 1200.00 a month. But the horrible thing is he is now making no money. I have been paying the child support and alimony. I have paid the mortgage and all bills for over 3 months now. He has NO money. I love him so have tried to stick by him. I feel it is what couples should do. I finally convince him to get a second job. Thank God...He tells me he will set up direct deposit into my account since I seem to be doing better paying the bills. So after 3 months of going solo I am tapped out. So his son's prom was this weekend. He paid is child support. But on top of that he always pays all the extras for his kids. The ex goes on vacations with the childsupport and had no job. Her mother pays her rent. However when prom hit this weekend my DH took care of most of the expense. We don't have money to pay the house payment but he feels the need...Con't

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:14 PM on Apr. 18, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • To pay for the prom stuff. At this point I feel the ex should of paid it. Because she is getting over 1200 a month from him. We don't have extras right now so why in the world did he do this. We are broke because on top of the 1200 a month he pays for his kids shoes, sports,lunch,clothes,cell,and most everything else so the ex never has to use the child support. I don't understand. He is a good dad but there is no money....I am frustrated. Plus his son had over $200.00 in his account and $100 in his drawer. he is 17. If we had the money I would gladly pay for all the prom stuff but we don't. So his first pay check in over 3 months goes to his kids. I told him he should of just paid child support and alimony and helped me out.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:18 PM on Apr. 18, 2010

  • i agree with you.
    mywonderyears

    Answer by mywonderyears at 6:23 PM on Apr. 18, 2010

  • No u are not being a bitch I agree the mother should pay for that.
    mamaofficer

    Answer by mamaofficer at 6:25 PM on Apr. 18, 2010

  • i think he's trying really hard to be the good dad, i'm sure you understand. but, i think you being the person suffering isn't fair. it sucks! just let him know from now on that's bill money. you shouldn't cover EVERYTHING on your own. i was there once with my ex and it's hard not wanting to help but it's harder thinking about your own bills that need to be paid and feeling like you just want a little something for yourself.
    angevil53

    Answer by angevil53 at 6:31 PM on Apr. 18, 2010

  • I agree with you. My dad expected my mom do pay for everything on top of the child support. It was rediculous. He paid over 1000 dollars a month.

    YOU need to stop paying the child support and alimony now that he's working. He needs to pay that and anything else the court mandates him to but for now while ya'll are struggling that's all he needs to pay.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:00 PM on Apr. 18, 2010

  • My best friend went through a situation similiar to yours but she eventually woke up..I understand that you love your dh and want to help him as much as possible with his child support and alimony but in helping him with that, where does it leave you? BROKE...and the ones you're helping out are doing fine and enjoying life while you're trying to put your life and your savings back in place...My friend went through the same exact thing...paying off her ex's child support and alimony and still trying to maintain her household..once your ex finally got a job, it was too late because she had dug a whole so deep for herself that it was impossible for her to get out...she would buy the extra things "his" girls needed all while paying his monthly support and alimony. Your overhead and your extras in life are first priority..his child support and alimony is his responsibility...
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 12:26 PM on Apr. 19, 2010

  • That sounds extremely frustrating! Why is the ex not paying for 1/2 of the lunches, sports, ext? He needs to go back to court if you are the one paying, and get the spousal and child support recalculated if he has no money. That, and request that she pay 1/2 the other expenses. Child support is supposed to be used for household bills to take care of the children. If she is not paying rent, I'd let the court know that you have expenses and she does not and request that the child support amount be lowered.
    MeandMyBabes

    Answer by MeandMyBabes at 1:36 PM on Apr. 19, 2010

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