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how soon is too soon to move in together, with a child involved?

i've been dating my BF since Aug 08. DS met him in Feb 09. Their relationship really hit it off from June (in the beginning, it was just once a week for them). Now, DS loves/adores him. BF loves DS as well. he's taken on a father type role with him. I'm proud of both of them.

I plan on moving out and getting my own place, but I'd like to get a place with my BF. Not anytime soon, but either at the end of this year, or at the latest- June 2011. What do you guys think? Is that too soon? too much, too fast for DS? I mean, this is just if everything is still good with my BF, if nothing bad happens between us.

would it be too soon tho?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:04 PM on Apr. 18, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • to soon is any time before your married

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:07 PM on Apr. 18, 2010

  • I can't say what is good for YOU guys but I can tell you about my own personal experience.
    My sons father and I seperated when our son was 3 years old.Took forever to complete the divorce.I met my SO when my son just turned 7.We moved in together when he turned 8. Been together ever since. Turned out well for us.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:10 PM on Apr. 18, 2010

  • I agree with anon. If your bf is worth keeping, and your ds already likes him, marry him and make it official.

    Answer by Pnukey at 8:10 PM on Apr. 18, 2010

  • I'm against marriage. we've talked about it. BF wants to- not right now, but when we are more stable (i graduate, he gets a better position at his job, etc)... but then i told him that i'm against marriage. Will I ever get married? maybe- one day, but I doubt it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:13 PM on Apr. 18, 2010

  • Why so against marriage?

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:15 PM on Apr. 18, 2010

  • i've seen nothing but trouble in marriage. my own parents' marriage was horrible- from a really young age, i was told to "never get married.. nothing but a stupid piece of paper".. etc, etc. that thought became my belief. marriage IS just a piece of paper. i can easily give my BF POA, as well as have him adopt DS if something was to happen to me (we've talked about this before.. and his BD has NEVER been in his life, since i was 3 months preg. DS is 4 now).

    marriage or not- if someone wants to leave, they can easily do so. why make it harder? if you want to remain in the relationship and there's a storm ahead- being married doesnt make the fight less hard.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:21 PM on Apr. 18, 2010

  • No, but when your together 10 years and decided to split how do you decide who's is what? To have a man your not married to adopt your child IMO is crazy what if you split he could fight for custody. How does not being married make it any easier to leave especially if there are children involved.


    Answer by Anonymous at 8:27 PM on Apr. 18, 2010

  • i believe this is the man that I will be with. and if we were to split- married or not, living together or not- I wouldnt have a problem with him having 50/50 custody of my DS. I love how he is with my child/children in general- one of the main reasons I've fallen in love with him. and if we were to split- I wouldnt want to keep DS from him b/c of the relationship that they share... but also b/c of the man that he is- he can teach my son to be a man in ways that a woman cannot. Not saying I cant raise my son right, but there are certain things that boys learn from their male elders better than from their female elders.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:33 PM on Apr. 18, 2010

  • do what feels best, i moved in w/my hubby when we were dating 6months...i know a lil soon, but i just KNEW he was it! we got married 6months later & its been great! g'luck! -)

    Answer by beachmom0703 at 11:17 PM on Apr. 18, 2010

  • I don't really have a good answer. My situation was kind of weird. I met my fiance when my DS was 7 months old (he'll be 4 in August), and was living with my parents still in high school. We dated for about 3 weeks before we moved in with him at his mom's place. We lived there together for a month then got an apartment together. We've been together since 2007, and have had a baby (who is now 2 years old) and are getting married now. So I guess what I'm saying is, that it all depends on how close you feel you are with to your BF.

    Answer by Apple_Pie2010 at 3:48 AM on Apr. 19, 2010

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