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ok i am so done !

my daughter has been going out with a guy for 2 years.He has cheated on her which he lied about then admitted.I have tried to give him a chance because daughter believed he didn't cheat.he used her to have sex with at least 3 of her friends i believe .she says she is just friends with him but they are always together.I don't want him at my house any moreI feel i was used too.i gave him an old car so he could drive and get job, no job, no ged,car needs brakes no money he asked daughter to marry him she said yes then told him to take deposit off ring.uuuggg!!!!!
I am tired of playing psycological mind games so that daughter doesn't run off with him but i have had it.anyone have ideas???She is 18 just finishing freshman year collegeliving at home when not staying at his house

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flowki

Asked by flowki at 9:05 AM on Apr. 19, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • Man this has got to be rough on you, especially watching your daughter with this loser. But unfortunately there is not much you can do, besides stop offering help and money. Girls will be girls, and when they truly believe they are in love with someone there is not much anyone can say to stop them. You can offer advice and guidance, but the more pushy you are with her the more she is going to defy you. I think that there will come a point where your daughter will wake up and realize she can do alot better. Sounds like she is doing well by still going to college and everything. It may take some time, and if he completely changes in the mean time and becomes a better man then kudos to both of them.
    Ctink8189

    Answer by Ctink8189 at 9:14 AM on Apr. 19, 2010

  • It is hard to stay out of this kind of relationship, but remember that no one learns from advice only from their own mistakes. Just be there when it all falls apart and she can start a new, or who knows maybe it will work out, but you got to let her go and make her own decisions. No more preventing disaster from happening and no more kissing boo boos away. Try to be respectful of her decisions even if you don't agree, I know it is hard but it is all you can do.
    older

    Answer by older at 9:42 AM on Apr. 19, 2010

  • Its hard seeing your child struggle through a relationship, infact life, without helping out and trying to direct their paths. But one thing that I've learned in parenting is to know when to let go. Its hard but you have to get your mind in the position to not allow her business "when dating someone" to become your business. To be there when she needs you but when she begins talking about the bad things in her relationships, ignore it...its hard but thats the only way you'll detach yourself from being in her business and being upset when she's dating a loser...good luck to you...
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 11:07 AM on Apr. 19, 2010

  • Have her move into college dorms.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:08 PM on Apr. 19, 2010

  • How many times are you going to ask this question about your daughter??? She's over 18, let her have a life for Pete's Sake!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:08 PM on Apr. 19, 2010

  • she's going to have to learn the hard way like everyone else. it's one of the most painful things you go through as a parent, but there is nothing you can do other than control what happens in your house...
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 4:54 PM on Apr. 19, 2010

  • It's so hard not to want to make decisions for our kids especially when we know the facts. I'm the same way with my daughter . She dumped all her friends for this one guy. No he isn't really bad though I know she could do better but the fact that she dumped her friends is wrong and I know one day she will regret it. It doesn't matter what it is but we can't live our childrens lives. Sounds like your daughter is just afraid to not have whatever security she gets from this guy. You have to let go. Don't do the guy any favors but don't expect your daughter to change.
    itsmesteph11

    Answer by itsmesteph11 at 5:35 PM on Apr. 19, 2010

  • I would tell her this. If you are going to keep seeing this guy. You have to move out of my house. Explain why.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 7:13 PM on Apr. 22, 2010

  • She is an adult.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:00 AM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • I agree with "ctink81889" here.
    incarnita

    Answer by incarnita at 8:55 AM on Apr. 23, 2010

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