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How to choose an adoption Facilitator

My husband and I have a complete home study andwe have been looking into hiring an adoption facilitator out of California. The thing is we are so confused on which one to use. We are between Adoption Answer and Everlasting Adoptions. Adoption answer has a sorter wait time, and they both have the same price, but Everlasting Adoption has the BBB stamp, but both are watched over by the state of California and Everlasting told us it would take up to 2 years because we are wanting a baby girl. My husband and I really need to make a choice so we can get started, but we really need a third party to help us choose.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:31 AM on Apr. 19, 2010 in Adoption

Answers (7)
  • I have never heard of an adoption facilitaor....how is their role different than the worker from the adoption agency?
    peanutsmommy1

    Answer by peanutsmommy1 at 11:37 AM on Apr. 19, 2010

  • I'd go through a church. I know they have Catholic adoption facilitators. I'm sure they have others.
    itsmesteph11

    Answer by itsmesteph11 at 12:10 PM on Apr. 19, 2010

  • here is a link to an independent adoption agency rating site: http://www.adoptionagencyratings.com/adoption-agency-rank.htm 


    What you should be looking for is an ethical and moral facilitator. Many agencies use pressure and coercion to find women in crisis pregnancy and get them to relinquish their babies so that they can profit from the adoption. Promising a low wait time should be a red flag.


    onethentwins

    Answer by onethentwins at 12:36 PM on Apr. 19, 2010

  • You say you are in CA, do you live anywhere near Los Angeles. On May 15th Marlou Russell Phd is giving a lecture at Santa Monica College called "The Lifelong Impact of Adoption". You can register on line here: http://commed.smc.edu/index.cfm?method=ClassInfo.ClassInformation&int_class_id=20547&int_category_id=1&int_sub_category_id=36&int_catalog_id=0


    I highly recommend it.

    onethentwins

    Answer by onethentwins at 12:37 PM on Apr. 19, 2010

  • I adopted in CA using a facitatator and my opinion is to be very wary of anyone, especially a facilitator, that tries to predict the waiting time when you are being gender specific, especially a girl which is what most gender specific couples are asking for.

    The question you need to ask and get true written confirmation on is when they match. Facilitators seem to match earlier in the pregnancy (often before gender is determined) and you would potentially not be presented to the majority of couples.

    Frankly, I think the facilitator that is telling you 2 years is being honest with you, the other one I may be suspicious of. I would ask for no less than 5 recent references.

    Also know that BBB is not that important because facilitators have their contracts worded so well that it is almost impossible to prove anything and make a claim against them. Unless a claim is proven, nothing shows on their record.

    Good luck
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:40 PM on Apr. 19, 2010

  • I disagree that the ability to match you quickly is always a warning sign but it needs to be based on what you bring not what they can bring to you.
    If you are a couple that is "in demand" (you are AA yourselves or speak spanish or are looking to adopt a disabled child or unfortunately, you are extremely wealthy and can pay high bmom expenses or have a very glamourous profession) they can tell you that they will match you quickly and be accurate. However if you are one of 200 waiting caucasian couples in their mid thirties to early forties on their books with the same 2 car garage and Mom who gardens and Dad who golfs on the weekends, they cant promise you will match any faster than anyone else, especially when you have options that are way cut down since you are gender specific. That you should be wary of. 2 years seems very accurate, maybe even short for a girl infant in CA
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:55 PM on Apr. 19, 2010

  • I can't stand it when someone says that they only want a girl. Give me all your boys then! I'll humbly take boys with gratitude. I waited this long to be a mom, how could you look at a baby boy and say they are less loved or deserving?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:06 PM on Apr. 21, 2010

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