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My husband is mean to me because he knows I have no other choice but to stay with him.

I'm pregnant, due in two months. We have a daughter together, and I have two daughters from my first marriage that my ex doesn't help with. So pretty much, I'm stuck here no matter what because I have no education, not much job experience.. and never really learned how to live in the world since I got pregnant and moved out at such a young age to be a parent and wife with my ex. For many months now me and my husband have hardly gotten along. What the heck am I supposed to do about the way he treats me? He doesn't care if I'm lonely, he doesn't care if I'm sad, he doesn't care about anything but him being able to just get up and go as he pleases.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:20 PM on Apr. 19, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • I wish I could email you. I had a similar experience married young, far from home and no options. Thankfully he left me. I went to college and have a great life now. How far have you got in your eduation? Did you graduate high school? If not they have programs that can help. If you have fill out a fasa and see how much money you could get for school. You would be suprised. I did it with 4 small kids and no help.Do you have any friends where you are? If not make some get involved in a church or reach out to other moms in your area? Do you have insurance so you can see a therapist? How he treats you shouldnt affect you or how you fee labout yourself. You have the power to change anything you want. Change can be scary and even uncomfortable but you will grow, you will get stronger. If you need to talk you can email me.
    okmommy08

    Answer by okmommy08 at 3:43 PM on Apr. 19, 2010

  • Sounds like you need to get out of there. There are resources for women with children. If you are desperate to get away, contact a local Women's Shelter and leave. You don't deserve to be treated like crap.
    Hezekiahs_mom

    Answer by Hezekiahs_mom at 3:24 PM on Apr. 19, 2010

  • You are in a hard situation and it will be alot of work but you can better your situation. number one is recognizing that you want more out of life. 2 is to start making a plan. it will take time but you need ot look at all your options. Could you start getting job training, shelters, stay with friends, get a part time job while husband is home, start going ot church and get counseling services there. If you start working on you and building self esteem and working on your future you may find options you didnt know were there. Good Luck to you. I hope you find a way out cause you deserve more. He prob treats you bad because he is an a** not just cause you are stuck.
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 3:26 PM on Apr. 19, 2010

  • I'm saying this before I even read your whole question...you ALWAYS have a choice sweetheart. Always.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:31 PM on Apr. 19, 2010

  • You are NOT stuck. The state offers a TON of resources for single mothers. The government also offers financial assistance for education. You need to contact those places and get help and get out.
    TheDiva320

    Answer by TheDiva320 at 3:32 PM on Apr. 19, 2010

  • This is what you should do. Stick it out. Just for a little while longer. You're soon to be a mother of 4. You have to do things carefully. If you have any family that would be willing to help you, I would use that to your advantage. If I was in your situation...I would probably ask a friend or a relative, like my mom, if I could stay there, and get some help with the kids while I found a job, and maybe went to school part time. If you do this...you will be working...and getting an education, and you will be able to take your kids, and give them everything they need. You do NOT need to stay with this man for ANY reason. You don't deserve to be treated this way. You gotta take care of yourself, because if you can't do that...how are you going to raise four children properly? You need to start caring more about yourself and your children...don't try to make him happy anymore. He doesn't try to make you happy. Do what ya gotta do
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:35 PM on Apr. 19, 2010

  • You are buying into a trap that you DO have a choice in. If you don't like what's happening, it's up to you to change it. Don't expect him to magically be the husband you want. Demand proper treatment, get yourself some support - go to counseling, local support groups, find a shelter. Your kids NEED you to show them what is acceptable treatment or you are setting them up to be in miserable abusive relationships: if you don't think YOU are worth it, think of THEM. And eventually you will figure out that you damn well ARE worth all of it and he is a piece of shit who doesn't deserve your second thoughts...
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 3:38 PM on Apr. 19, 2010

  • Don't do his laundry or cook for him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:31 PM on Apr. 19, 2010

  • But If I stopped doing his laundry he'd be meaner, and he needs clothes so he can work, what little work he does do.... And I've thought about not cooking for him anymore but not cuz he's mean to me, but because he'll sit in front of the kids and eat when they haven't and tell them to go away.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:55 PM on Apr. 19, 2010

  • Please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-SAFE (7233)
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 5:14 PM on Apr. 19, 2010

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