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Lets talk about Porn.

Why does it seem that when a woman does not like porn she is the one expected to 'get over it'.... I am speaking about the man in her life, whether that be a boyfriend or a husband. Especially when that man has never been in to porn before. Why is she the one who is told to change and to accept....because it is a guy thing, it is not hurting any thing, better he do that than go out and find some one? What if it hurts her so much and in turn hurts the relationship? Just thinking thoughts outloud and am curious to see if the majority of woman themselves feel the woman is the one who needs to adjust and change. Porn can mean anything from magazine to videos to on line...any type.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:59 PM on Apr. 19, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • yeh i don't like it either. it's like when guys say your a slut if you've slept with more than one guy and a guy is allowed to sleep with as many women as they want. it's disgusting. I think that guys should open up their eyes and see that porn is just like cheating and i'm sure if you were going to go watch some porn they would ask u what was wrong with their penis and why you had to go look at another guy's

    Answer by khmymommi at 4:01 PM on Apr. 19, 2010

  • I don't have a problem with it personally, I do not see why everyone gets so bent out of shape.


    Answer by lapcounter at 4:05 PM on Apr. 19, 2010

  • I think that it's a decision that needs to be made as a couple. If it doesn't affect the relationship, if the woman isn't offended by it, then it's not a problem. If she is, then it's a problem. Our feelings don't have to make sense, just like in every other area of life and relationships... no one asks you to back up your feelings about things unless they are looking to justify something they know is hurtful to you. I'm a liberal about sooo many things, but I find porn offensive as hell. Sure, it probably has to do with my self-esteem, but I wouldn't expect anyone to tell me to tolerate hubby calling me chubby for that reason, so... I can enjoy a beautiful man, but I don't go out seeking pictures of beautiful men - I just think that's just not part of a committed relationship. I've watched porn with past bf's. Guess I was in a different place then. In any case, it's an issue of respecting feelings. Porn is not a necessity...

    Answer by figaro8895 at 4:05 PM on Apr. 19, 2010

  • Okay, I can understand that lapcounter but really, some woman do 'get bent out of shape'. Why is that always looked at as wrong?

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:07 PM on Apr. 19, 2010

  • I don't know, but I don't think porn is harmless. If I'm not okay with someone I love being part of the porn industry, then viewing it isn't okay either. Porn trivializes sex, encourages the disrespect of bodies, and encourages people to use each other or allow themselves to be used. It's sick, IMO. It can also be addicting and ruin your marriage. It almost ruined mine.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:08 PM on Apr. 19, 2010

  • Oh I did not say it was wrong, I guess since it does not affect my relationship I do not understand why women get so upset over it. Now if someone has a problem and is doing it all the time I can see why women get mad but if a husband looks at a magazine now and again or flips on the porn channel one night I guess I just don't see what the big deal is. I agree with what figaro8895 said.


    Answer by lapcounter at 4:13 PM on Apr. 19, 2010

  • It is a man's world, and men have convinced women that it is just the way men are. It is degrading women into sex objects and nothing more. And women over time have numbed themselves or have taken the attitude of well if you can't beat it, then join it.  Because deep down inside woman don't want to grow old alone and so we comprimise our morals and beliefs to feel better about men.  If a woman has any self respect, she is NOT going to pose nude or be in porn.  So we are just contributing to that low self-esteem.


    Answer by Anonymous at 4:14 PM on Apr. 19, 2010

  • good grief then he couldn't watch tv or videos or play games bc they show sexy characters. She needs to get some self esteem and realize it's just entertainment just like sports or hunting. that's all. nothing more and nothing against her

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:14 PM on Apr. 19, 2010

  • Just another form of entertainment may be right but equating it to the likes of hunting or sports is ridiculous. It is against me, regardless of my self esteem. It is also against our daughter.
    When we married it was discussed and porn was not some thing either of us wanted or needed. so then he decides it is something he wants to engage in and then what, I am left to get over it or I am the one who is told to fix things and deal. I am not seeing how that is productive.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:30 PM on Apr. 19, 2010

  • When we said "I do" to each other, we were saying "I don't" to ALL others. Porn is cheating. I would be mad if the neighbor-lady walked in my house and started taking off her clothes for my hubby...wouldn't you??? So why would it be okay, just because it's someone on the TV or in a magazine, or online??? it's not. It's wrong for either party to lust after anyone other than their spouse.

    Answer by TimandMely4ever at 5:22 PM on Apr. 19, 2010

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