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Wondering what to do about a situation with my cousin...what do you think?

First off, she is 20, finishing nursing school..very sweet girl. I am older 30 and today at work I heard someone talking and probably heard something my cousin didnt want me to hear.

I overheard someone talking about her ex boyfriend hitting her. They dated about 18 months or so. And she went over to his house to get something from HIS mom...and apperently he punched her in the face...and did this a lot during their relationship.
I HAD NO IDEA!!!!

I was not being nosy I was standing right there and they were talking.

Their relationship is over and she is dating another guy who is nice from what I know.

But should I tell her mom and dad (my aunt and uncle) I feel like I should...but I know cousin will be upset, embarrassed etc.

I know the relationship is over, but worry about what might happen if they run into each other etc.

How would you handle this...talk to cousin first? Just call aunt an

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:23 PM on Apr. 19, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

Answers (11)
  • CONTINUED...

    Just call aunt and uncle????? Or what...I dont want to do the wrong thing...this is just scary and new to me.. I am still in shock that she would allow this to happen to her....I thought she was a very strong young lady.....I am worried and confused.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:24 PM on Apr. 19, 2010

  • Talk to cousin first. Encourage her to talk to a domestic violence counsellor. Hopefully, you will find out that she already has. And possibly she has told her parents. She needs to have her privacy protected (because she's an adult) at the same time you are holding out a hand to help her.
    kjrn79

    Answer by kjrn79 at 5:27 PM on Apr. 19, 2010

  • I would go to her and leave it at that, because it's her business if she wants to tell anyone. What are her parents really going to do for her?....seriously...and she's out of the relationship already...so that's a plus!
    Go to the source and it's not your place to tell anyone else, it's her business.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:30 PM on Apr. 19, 2010

  • i would go to her and tell her you will be there if she needs to talk or has any problems. since it is over between them there is not much left to be said about it but let her know you are there for her and she deserves better.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:39 PM on Apr. 19, 2010

  • I would not say anything to your aunt & uncle. This is her business, and it is up to her to tell if she hasn't already. Of course, if she were still in the relationship, that would be different, but she isn't. You need to respect her privacy, she is not a child, you know. I would just let her know that you are there if she ever needs to talk, about ANYTHING. I would not even mention the subject by name, but let her know that you know, and you will let her bring it up if she needs to talk.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:24 AM on Apr. 20, 2010

  • Stay out of it. It is over, unless you think the old boyfriend will come back an make a scene of violence.
    older

    Answer by older at 11:23 AM on Apr. 20, 2010

  • I would encourage her to talk to her parents. But I wouldnt say anyhting to them personally. I know you said they are not together anymore, but from your post it whappened more than once. To be in a relationship for any length of time after violence leaves me to think she may have some issues she needs to deal with or the pattern of being with men like that could happen again. Talk to her, encourage her.
    AK_aries

    Answer by AK_aries at 11:19 AM on Apr. 22, 2010

  • I would shake her, slap her in the face and say, "What is wrong with you?!!!'. Kidding aside, I will talk to her first and let her know that if she needs someone, I'm there for her. She need to also know that any man who hits her is not worth it. He has to be reported for assault and battery. But before I say all of these things, I have to make sure to ask her if the rumors were true or not.
    LavenderRose10

    Answer by LavenderRose10 at 3:00 AM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • I agree with " older" on this one.
    incarnita

    Answer by incarnita at 8:42 AM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • No I wouldn't tell them. It's her life. If she wants them to know she'll tell them. If she was still with them I'd say tell but since he's gone, no.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:01 PM on Apr. 23, 2010

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