Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

i love him. i want him... but i cant see myself having a baby with him?

with my child's dad- he wasnt involved at all. i mean- NOTHING! going on 4 years now, adn still nothing! lol
my current SO: he's a good father figure.. but when i think about the future, and plan on having more kids... being in L&D, with him by my side when i'm giving birth.. i cannot imagine it. i WANT him to be there.. but i dont b/c i've never had to have that experience before. the only way that i know how to do it, is alone...

am i weird? does this mean that we shouldnt be together? i also cant see him having a child of his own, but thats cuz we are both young (he's 24).. but i dont want to destroy his "youngness" by having a child with him

(we arent planning on any kids right now.. this is just a crazy woman's wishful/scary thinkings. lol )

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:30 PM on Apr. 19, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • I think you have a whole lot of "growing up" to do my Dear.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:41 PM on Apr. 19, 2010

  • yep, you are a bit loony today......:) not to worry....that wil change

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:44 PM on Apr. 19, 2010

  • Maybe you and he should sit down and discuss this but it doesn't sound like either one of you are ready for a long term committed relationship with more children. Does he even want children?

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:45 PM on Apr. 19, 2010

  • In all seriousness, I think you should be focusing on spending time developing your relationship with this man, and the relationship with your existing child, before you start thinking about MORE children! You have PLENTY of time to have more kids. You already learned the hard way what happens when you put the proverbial cart before the horse, so why chance repeating this mistake?! Take your time. IF you are meant to be together, and are both truly committed to one another, the things you cannot imagine now will "define" themselves in time.

    Answer by LoriKeet at 7:53 PM on Apr. 19, 2010

  • we've been together for over a year.. we've talked about kids for the future-- when i am finished with school and in my career, better income, etc.. i say, in about 5-7 years, i'll have another one- depending on my financial status, mostly.

    but i mean- even if i imagine having a child with somebody- i cant imagine anyone being in the delivery room. no one was there for my firstborn-- i dont think i'd feel comfortable with people being there for my second born (lol except for the doctors).

    and yea- today is my looney day. its the one day i get to go semi-crazy without feeling crazy. make sense? not supposed to! lol jk

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:57 PM on Apr. 19, 2010

  • Sound to me like you defently need to just not marry or have babies with him or anyone else right now. Tell you know what you want out of life.

    Answer by louise2 at 8:16 PM on Apr. 19, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.