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My 15 year old sophomore seems so fed up with school...not the work, but the people~but what do I say?

She has a music teacher who slams her hand down and says "that sucks, I can't do this anymore" and has picked favorites and has totally ignored my daughter (a first chair flute) ever since my daughter decided she couldn't commit to the time for the pit orchestra for the school play, and this teacher also has "friended" students on Facebook, and a French teacher who apparently tries to hard to relate gets in her face and gets on her nerves. I also hear about the many students in her classes who just text under the table, say horrible things about others that the teacher cannot hear, and just don't pay attention in class or copy off her. She came home and posted on her FB status "School is just not my thing anymore" She is a high honors student, who wants to go to a good college and make something of herself, but I feel we are "losing her" in a sense. I know she must get through this, but nothing I say seems to help!
Thoughts?

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dflygirl7

Asked by dflygirl7 at 7:55 PM on Apr. 19, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 12 (751 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • She doesn't have to go through HS. Homeschool. She can take the GED asap in your state and start college. Community college while living at home would be safest and cheapest.

    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 8:01 PM on Apr. 19, 2010

  • She needs to get used to being disappointed and dealing with the unfairness of life....she is probably fine, just venting at home which may make it sound worse than it really is.....if it gets too bad, consider homeschooling her to finish high school. There are great accredited curriculum out there with teacher services if that is the route that is for her.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:02 PM on Apr. 19, 2010

  • It is so hard for kids to see the big picture. As the mom to an honor society member I know what you mean. The thing that has saved us is the fact that mine knows she wants to go to art school. And in looking into that she has seen what is needed of her to do that. It helped her to have a goal. This school year is almost over, I would tell her to just hold on a little longer. It is hard for them to see that they have too much to lose because of a couple of bad teachers. Maybe she could talk to the guidance department and get an idea of what she needs to do to get where she wants to go. It may be enough to get her head in the game. Good luck.
    wallmom1

    Answer by wallmom1 at 8:02 PM on Apr. 19, 2010

  • Unfortunately, sucky people are a part of life. Everywhere she goes she's gonna run into people she won't like or get along with. There will always be double standards and she may not always be the favorite. Especially being a woman. It's a life lesson. She will just have to learn to deal with it. It's not to say she has to like it, but she has to learn to cope with it. When she's in the work force she won't be able to just say "Work is not my thing anymore" and be done. That's not how the world works. She has 2 years left, she's almost to the finish line with High School, then she'll be done with it. All she can do right now is focus on her studies and enjoy the good times. If it's THAT serious with the teachers, talking to the principal or guidance counselor or dean might be an option.
    TheDiva320

    Answer by TheDiva320 at 8:17 PM on Apr. 19, 2010

  • You don't have to learn to live in horrible conditions and put up with "sucky" people. You can teach your children to change their circumstances and not waste their lives dealing with negative people. Maybe if women weren't told from the time that they little girls that they always had to put up with everything more women would have happier lives.

    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 8:21 PM on Apr. 19, 2010

  • I think the key is not to "put up with" sucky people, but to learn not to let them effect you! It does sound like she takes things more personally than the average person and that make sit harder for her to deal with the normal stuff that is going on around her. Some teachers are annoying, some are really good. Most of her peers have both good and bad qualities and even the nice kids act like jerks sometimes. No situation is all good or all bad. Honestly, I would be concerned if my child seemed to have such a negative view of things.....could she be depressed? Why is it that nothing is meeting her expectations? Does she have any friends she likes? Have her frienships shifted lately? I find that when kids that age are feeling really down it usually has something to do with frienships changing and they feel kind of lost. When you are feeling bad everything looks worse to you.
    BJoan

    Answer by BJoan at 9:28 PM on Apr. 19, 2010

  • First of all, she is only 15 yrs. old and as her mother you need to make an appointment to talk with the teacher. Your daughter sounds depressed which happens often at this age and shouln't be taken lightly. If talking to the teacher doesn't help the next step would be your daughter's school counselor and the administration. The teacher does not sound like she is behaving appropriately at all. Our children need their parents to advocate for them when they are unable to. I hope you take care of this now, instead of later.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:19 AM on Apr. 20, 2010

  • Tell her to hang in there.....she's only got a few more years of high school left, she can concentrate on her grades and possibly get a scholarship. As for the teachers.........If it were my daughter, I would personally step in and either talk to these teachers individually or to the principal. High school is hard enough as it is.........the teachers shouldn't be the ones making it harder.
    Callie140

    Answer by Callie140 at 1:59 PM on Apr. 20, 2010

  • Welcome to the real world. Doesn't matter if she doesn't like her teachers. She should get those high grades to spite them. Pulling her out and homeschooling or getting a GED and going the community college route aren't the answers either. College teachers and students do the same thing as high school teachers. Its an entire system of teachers teaching kids that thing the world revolves around them so they quit caring. Vicious cycle, but my younger 2 have decided to excel in spite of their teachers.
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 3:45 PM on Apr. 20, 2010

  • Isn't it amazing how much younger and more immature the teachers have gotten since we were kids? I have a cousin who teaches English. I know for a fact that he used to cut class in college. Now what does that tell you. You would be shocked at how fast a teacher comes to rips with him/herself when he/she recieves an e-mail from a parent. I sent a lovely e-mail to the teacher in charge of the play to explain to him exactly what it was that he was doing to kill th fun out of the play for the kids. He of course denied it back to me in writing, but his behavior on the set changed. I don't think he had seen himself through the eyes of a parent before. Spending too much time witht he kids, I guess.
    I would writie to the cranky music teacher start off with I understand you said SUCKS in class the other day. I don't consider that professional at all and I want to remind you that this is an enrichment class.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:06 AM on Apr. 21, 2010

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