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I need advice BADLY! :(

i work 30 hrs/wk,my DH works around 45 hrs/wk. his job is very physical & he works long shifts. my job is more laxed, but it still takes alot out of me. a usual day is him working from 8a-6p, me working 9a-3p, i pick up the kids (i have 2 boys ages 4&2)& take care of them all night, do supper, baths & clean the house, dishes, laundry, etc. i do ALL the housework & he is such a slob. he never does dishes or sweeps or even picks up his dishes & trash at the end of the night. do u think this is fair?? his viewpoint is that i work less than him, and my job isnt as hard, & hes too tired & sore after work to do anything. i get really fustrated because i have depression & it really makes me tired. i have to drink caffeine all day in order to be able to function at all. then another problem is that im so tired from work, kids & housework that i NEVER want2 have sex. he gets so annoyed at me and i feel so bad!! but i have NO libido :(

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:26 PM on Apr. 19, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • Tell him, you are too tired and drained taking care of EVERYTHING to have sex and if he wants it, he's gonna have to help out more!
    TheDiva320

    Answer by TheDiva320 at 8:28 PM on Apr. 19, 2010

  • Tell him if he wants sex more. Help you out around the house. And you will feel like giving him some,some times.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 8:29 PM on Apr. 19, 2010

  • have you told him why you are too tired to have sex? no it is not fair at all. he could atleast clean up after himself. it's not like you dont work at all. he is being lazy and taking advantage of you. stand up for yourself and tell him he needs to help out more. it is not healthy for you to do everything and live on coffee every day so he can sit around and make a mess of the house that you try so hard to keep clean.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:30 PM on Apr. 19, 2010

  • I would suggest BOTH OF YOU reading this book called "The Five Love Langauges." It has helped my marriage and many other friends marriages because we found our spouses love language. It does not need to be read in 1 night, nor 1 week....I understand you are tired and so is he. But this may put a new insight to how he feels and he in return will understand how you feel.
    Allie120

    Answer by Allie120 at 8:32 PM on Apr. 19, 2010

  • I only work 20-30 hours a week and my boyfriend works 60 plus hours a week and he still helps out around the house. Taking care of a child is hard work! Plus housework on top of that. It's tiring and I give you props. If only you could switch roles for a day and he would realize how tired you are! My boyfriend understands how hard it is just to chase after a kid let alone house work! I would make him help!
    dbodani

    Answer by dbodani at 8:39 PM on Apr. 19, 2010

  • at least he could clean up after himself. Thats pretty crappy of him.
    dbodani

    Answer by dbodani at 8:40 PM on Apr. 19, 2010

  • I would tell him that he might want sex, but you want a clean house. If he is willing to help you out, then you ware willing to help him out.
    SleepingBeautee

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 8:47 PM on Apr. 19, 2010

  • threatening with no sex unless the house is clean doesnt help either. just makes you both more angry and sex wont be as good.
    Allie120

    Answer by Allie120 at 8:52 PM on Apr. 19, 2010

  • Just an honest question..... None of this was visible before you married? In him or his family
    GMMOLLY

    Answer by GMMOLLY at 4:44 AM on Apr. 20, 2010

  • ive tired asking him to help out more but he doesnt think he should because he works so much and so hard. he has to know how unhappy i am because im always mopeing around all misreable, and im constantly picking things up and cleaning. but no matter how hard i try, he still just sits there and plays his video games. he doesnt understand how stressed i am that the house looks like hell all the time. i hate it! when i was single and just had one kid (we were divorced for 2 years) living by myself, taking care of me and my child, my house was always clean! it was awesome! now it looks like crap and theres just piles of junk everywhere! i dont know what to do anymore. hes always been sloppy, ive just kinda delt with it. but im just so damn tired of cleaning up after not only 2 kids but a grown ass man! :( im so unhappy. am i making a mountain out of a molehill or is this justified?? i dunno. i think i need to go back on meds... :(
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:12 PM on Apr. 24, 2010

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