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My kids love him but....

I have been with my man for a few years now & we've been through so much especially illness. I have stuck by him while he goes through sickness &bhospital stays and chronic pain. I love the man he used to be but he has gone so down hill in the past year &nI can't say that I didn't have a hand in the current problems. The major problem is he is so lazy, every single day he complains of something bothering him always after I come home & see NOTHING has been done at the house. Im the only income & I pay all the bills plus his medications that he goes thru too fast. Im a single mom of 4 kids & am barely making it!! Im so frustrated right now, because I feel like I created a monster by doing everything I can to make him happy & comfortable & if I protest anything it turns into a manic rage that is starting to really scare me. My kids are getting older but grew up with him as step dad, i just don't what to do anymore? Advice plz

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:17 PM on Apr. 19, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • tell him how you feel. tell him you are not trying to start an argument but you are stressed and he is the main reason. if he gets mad and starts a fight tell him that him doing exactly that is part of the problem.
    jennifer588

    Answer by jennifer588 at 10:20 PM on Apr. 19, 2010

  • Tell him to step up and pull his weight or he's gone. The kids will adjust
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:22 PM on Apr. 19, 2010

  • well i am going thru a similar situation. i stay at home with the kids and my husband works, and there are days where i dont do anything at the house because i feel i am entitled to a day off i am only human. what you should try is what my husband and i are doing. we are talking about it a lot, i mean try your hardest not to get angry, raise your voice and all that, just say hey i feel this way and with you not helping me its extremely frustrating and i understand that your hurting and been through a lot but i am working all day and would like your help and support once in awhile, it would be nice to come home to a clean house once in awhile clean laundry, all the dishes cleaned and put away and dinner made and on the table.i know its much to ask for some days but it would really help me out. i mean you could give it a try. it couldnt hurt. good luck
    BUDDHASBABY1

    Answer by BUDDHASBABY1 at 10:23 PM on Apr. 19, 2010

  • Perhaps he has some family that can help him? As well is he not eligible for disability or some kind of free health care? Maybe from a local free clinic. The usually are able to help with medical bills and prescriptions. It is going to be really hard now to get rid of him. You have been almost his wife for the last few years. It will be like getting a divorce and all of the things that come with it. It is some thing for you to consider. I do consider talking to him.
    my2kids312

    Answer by my2kids312 at 10:28 PM on Apr. 19, 2010

  • This kids will learn how to stand up for themselves if you stand up for yourself. If he physically cant pull his weight that is one thing but if he is just being lazy he needs a wakeup call. Your kids will adjust and he needs to be contributing. You need to put you and your kids first and he needs to start taking care of himself and contributing!
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 12:17 PM on Apr. 20, 2010

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