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when you and your partner are opposite how do you make it work?

Well first off I love my husband and he loves me but the trouble is we are total opposites to give you an idea I am a rock n roll and he is country for the most part i am laid back I am a sahm and love it my kids are my life, but like most ppl i do like to get out and have fun i like tattoos and piercings and heavy metal he thinks tats rock music and piercings are stupid would rather stay home or go fishing than go to the movies,zoo,put put golf or anything remotely fun,life has got dry and boring with him I am afraid it may take a toll on our marriage someday, he was not like this when we first met so i don know if he just was fitting into my lifestyle when we met then changed after marriage or what anyway that is the gist of the problem how do i make this work or better yet we make this work advice please anyone been where i am?


Asked by Anonymous at 1:01 AM on Apr. 20, 2010 in Relationships

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Answers (7)
  • weather or not your into the same things both you and your husband need to have a good balance of things you like to do. He should go do things you like because you like them and you should go do things he likes because he enjoys them. Love is a choice and sacrafice for one another. Love is just not a feeling, it's an action.
    I can see how frustrating it would be for you to have him change though..

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:05 AM on Apr. 20, 2010

  • Read "The Five Love Languages" and ask for him to read it too. It will make things more clear.

    Answer by outstandingLove at 1:11 AM on Apr. 20, 2010

  • Um, I think YOU should be happy to have a husband like him. It sounds as if the type of person with whom you associate to your liking, is a real Loser. I think I would re-evaluate how you are feeling. If you still feel the same way, I suggest you give some of these single mothers here on Cafemom a chance at a really GREAT guy! Sorry, but you should very childish and foolish.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:14 AM on Apr. 20, 2010

  • You sound like me and my DH, he was all country, he even smashed one of my Guns n Roses tapes (yeah that long ago). He was no drinking, no tattoos, and nothing but fishing and hunting also.. Some how we made it work. He now has 4 tattoos of his own and loves heavy metal.. I agree with the balance from poster above. How it happened, I really don't know. He did his thing, I did mine and yes we did alot of both of our interests together. I have a love for fishing and spending hours on the river now. Even with your differences you can make it work. 18 years and counting here. Oh yeah, I also did alot of stuff by myself to piss him off. I refused to sit at home, I would ask if he wanted to go and if not, I still went. I took the kids to the beach etc.. One day he started to join us.

    Answer by midnightmoma at 1:14 AM on Apr. 20, 2010

  • to the 2nd anonymous answer post, you should check yourself I never insulted my husband ! I just said that we have many differnces and asked for advice which might I add you did not give any??? so who is childish? hmm I don't need an answer to that one thank you, but take your bussniess elsewhere you did not have to read my post nore leave an answer if you didnt like the question

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:42 AM on Apr. 20, 2010

  • My husband and I are total opposites, he is heavy metal kind of guy and I'm not, he is outdoorsy, loves to hunt, fish, camp etc. etc. and I love to shop, we even talk different, I always tell him that we are complete opposites and he says that's what makes it so good, I do stuff with him that he likes and he does stuff with me that I like and it works out great for us.


    Answer by looovemybabies at 1:44 AM on Apr. 20, 2010

  • My husband and I are very different. He is super-laid-back, homebody, loves technology, video-games, and movies. I'm a hippie chick who likes to be outside, nerd who loves reading anything I can get my hands on and listening to public radio, rugged adventuring type who likes to get my hands dirty. We both love music, but we differ on what types (although, since we both have a broad range, it does overlap). One thing to focus on is that sometimes people who are different complement each other. I had a best friend (male) who was just like me, but we fought like cats and dogs, we could never live together for years but in personality, intelligence, and interests, we were like twins. So, think about all the people in your past who you have had more in common with? Was your relationship with those people harmonious? It is important to do things together so like a pp said...

    Answer by Bellarose0212 at 2:10 AM on Apr. 20, 2010

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