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What is the big deal with spanking anyways.......??

Bad behavior when they are older please they will be bad as heck if they wanna be. Go ahead and bash me but i do have to give a spanking here and there.

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Asked by Anonymous at 2:25 AM on Apr. 20, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (14)
  • I have only needed to give a spanking twice. I think it got the point across. Sometimes a little swat across the butt is all they need. I am for it! I am not for beating my child. I am not going to take a belt a beat him or beat him so hard that my hand hurts. Just a little smack on the butt or on his hand.

    Answer by LucyT20 at 2:28 AM on Apr. 20, 2010

  • i spank with a swat on the bottom, when all else fails(talking)...never for everything, or with something(an object)

    Answer by lhernandez7208 at 2:45 AM on Apr. 20, 2010

    There are several reasons why child bottom-slapping isn't a good idea. Here are some good, quick reads recommended by professionals:

    Plain Talk About Spanking
    by Jordan Riak,

    The Sexual Dangers of Spanking Children
    by Tom Johnson,

    by Lesli Taylor M.D. and Adah Maurer Ph.D.

    Just a handful of those helping to raise awareness of why child bottom-slapping isn't a good idea:

    American Academy of Pediatrics,
    American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry,
    Center For Effective Discipline,
    Churches' Network For Non-Violence,
    Nobel Peace Prize recipient Archbishop Desmond Tutu,
    Parenting In Jesus' Footsteps,
    Global Initiative To End All Corporal Punishment of Children,
    United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child.

    Answer by Bellarose0212 at 3:12 AM on Apr. 20, 2010

  • In 26 countries, child corporal punishment is prohibited by law (with more in process). In fact, the US was the only UN member that did not ratify the Convention on the Rights of the Child. People used to think it was necessary to "spank" adult members of the community, military trainees, and prisoners. In some countries they still do. In our country, it is considered sexual assault if a person over the age of 18 is "spanked", but only if over the age of 18.


    Answer by Bellarose0212 at 3:14 AM on Apr. 20, 2010

  • Most compelling of all reasons to abandon this worst of all bad habits is the fact that buttock-battering can be unintentional sexual abuse for some children. There is an abundance of educational resources, testimony, documentation, etc available on the subject that can easily be found by doing a little research with the recommended reads-visit For one thing, buttock-battering can vibrate the pudendal nerve, which can lead to sexual arousal.

    Answer by Bellarose0212 at 3:14 AM on Apr. 20, 2010

  • My take: Unless, there is abuse in the home, the child(ren) are the only ones who get hit. So what do they learn? They learn that it's not okay for anyone else in the world to get hit except them (and possibly a sibling) and it's not okay for them to hit anyone else. Hardly a sensical message. Daddy can't hit mommy, Mommy can't hit Daddy, Mommy & Daddy can't hit other adults, I can't hit my sibling or my friends, and (maybe) nobody but Daddy or Mommy is allowed to hit me. It's just strange. I think it's a lonely feeling- you are the only person in the world deserving of physical punishment. Also, it really does not send a message of love. Also, children learn the most from example, if Mommy can only deal with conflicts, her child doing something she does not want, through hitting- how is the child supposed to have any other tools to use when he or she needs to deal with a conflict? How will they learn conflict resolution?

    Answer by Bellarose0212 at 3:16 AM on Apr. 20, 2010

  • Most of all, I think if parents took an honest look at the hitting, they would realize it doesn't work. If it did, their children would be better behaved, but instead they keep lashing out for negative attention. If it worked, they would be saying I never hit or I only hit on one occasion and it stopped this behavior. The only thing that works for correcting negative behavior in kids (or anyone really) is finding what is at the root of the problem and allowing the child to express that hurt (verbally or through drawings, etc) and then finding ways to resolve it.

    Answer by Bellarose0212 at 3:17 AM on Apr. 20, 2010

  • Do you not read reports of studies done and see what it does to them? If not, haven't you seen or heard parents complain that they spank and spank and the child still does it? Well duh, because it doesn't work! It's being a bully and showing them that the parent is a control freak to be feared. Even worse it creates anger and they take it out on someone else....bully cycle. What exactly do you think it teaches them? It is a punishment that has nothing to do with the crime the parent thinks they committed so they can't logically process what you are wanting them to learn. It bruises their spirit. It reduces their self esteem. When dads hit daughters it teaches her it's acceptable that her bf/so/dh hit her as well. Learn to find a discipline (Spanking is punishment NOT DISCIPLINE, yes there is a difference) that is associated with the bad behavior. If nothing else gets through to you and others, look in his/her eyes when u do it

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:58 AM on Apr. 20, 2010

  • I do spank, as a last resort. I have 5 kids, and I can count on 2 hands the number of times I have had to spank them all combined (though the youngest is 22 months, so its bound to go up). I think that spanking can be a form of discipline rather then punishment. There is a line to respectful, acceptable behavior and sometimes kids need to be reminded where that line is. As far as fear, I see absoulely nothing wrong with a natural fear of consequences. Its part of our daily society, its what makes civilized society civilized. Why is it most people dont commit murder or speed? Because they dont want the consequences of that action. I think that the reason kids are as out of control as they are today, particularly in their teen years is that they have never been taught as children a healthy fear of consequences. Every child is different, and for some, the concept can be taught with time out. But what works for some (cont.)

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:27 AM on Apr. 20, 2010

  • Tarin...
    doesnt work for all.

    I should also add that most of the spanking in our home takes place before 7 or so...after that I find other consequences hold more weight (grounding, removal of things/privledges).

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:29 AM on Apr. 20, 2010

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