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Positive Behavior Reinforcement

There is post after post in CM debating the use of spankings. I know it can be difficult trying to get a child; especially a toddler; to grasp the concept of bad behavior- bad consequences. I am thankful I did not have the occasion to spank (until years later 5-6 year old) and a firm voice was what was needed to bring the situation under control. Certainly, if you do the right thing and take a minute to be calm before spanking, you've already lost if your dealing with a child in the 1 1/2 - 2 year old range since their attention span is like zippo.... and by this point their concept of whats going on is "OK whats this for"? So, the tendency is to swat (hopefully on a padded butt) immediately to associate the behavior with the response. The one spanking I did get conned into, was actually at my kids request. Sent to their rooms to contemplate what they had done and come up with a choice of remedies, ...2 be continued

 
GMMOLLY

Asked by GMMOLLY at 3:34 AM on Apr. 20, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 5 (100 Credits)
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Answers (2)
  • my four year old daughter received swats on her bottom twice. After that she became familiar of the swatts and would correct her behavior. I realized that this punishment was not appropriate, as she is only learning not to misbehave around me and will continue when i am not around. I have changed my method to positive reinforcement. I praise her when she is good and I praise her for helping around the home. And when ever she is out of control, i look her in the eyes and ask her to calm down, take a few breaths and ask her to explain what is the matter. this helps so much. I learned to control my outbursts too. I don't yell as much as i use to and I am much , much, much, more patient. yelling leads to more yelling.
    alejandra559

    Answer by alejandra559 at 3:46 AM on Apr. 20, 2010

  • I was amazed to see spanking on that list. I was so hoping it would be easier like no ice cream . So after a long debate with them, I accepted their choice.Apparently, they had talked this over and thought it would be short and sweet and then it's on with life. Well they had also taked each other into thinking it would hurt herendously as well. My oldest on my lap and my hand still in the air, was already crying like her arms were being ripped off and then the other joined in, I guess for emotional support and I knew right then , these two had just pulled their first con job. They each got an obligatory 1 swat, since now they deserved it more than ever. From that point on, I made the list of choices. So, finally to my point, I look back and wonder if I had taken more advantage of more of those moments when they were behaving so nicely, to positive reinforce instead of just enjoying them would that have been even better?
    GMMOLLY

    Answer by GMMOLLY at 3:51 AM on Apr. 20, 2010

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