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A lie (jump off of another post).. for everyone

When do you feel a lie is okay and when it isn't?

Example 1: I was giving my daughter a bath (she's 2), and when we were done, I didn't have time to grab her and put clothes on her before she ran out the door because she heard her cousin (whom just came over, he's 2 as well). His first words that day were, "Were Tessa peepee?"

We delicately changed the subject... a lie by omission. (do you feel omission is still a lie? as I do?)

Example 2: Your best friend is feel down, and wants to go out for a girls night. But the outfit she pick out is not the most flattery. (it's not the worst on her, but she definitely could do better). When she asks how she looks, you know by the look in her eyes she just wants you to tell her she looks stunning, because that's how she feels and NEEDS to feel at that moment.. do you tell her she looks good and lie?

more below


Asked by xxhazeldovexx at 7:50 AM on Apr. 20, 2010 in Religion & Beliefs

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This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • the first I don't see it as a lie, but being discreet. you didn't answer the question so how can you lie
    the second there are ways to be kind and still tell the truth.. why tell a friend her outfit's fabulous when it really isn't?.. you could say you look fine or focus on her hair,or her beautiful face.. doesn't have to be about the outfit.. in the 3rd example yes I would lie to save my life and that of my child's.. would it still be a lie? yes...but in a life or death situation wouldn't we all.That is not to say i have never lied.. because I have, never what I would call pre-meditated.. but more of lack of what to say in a sticky situation.. or maybe using something that is true like a broken down vehicle as an excuse as to why you can't go somewhere or do something but the truth is you woudn't go even if the vehicle was running because you don't want to but didn't want to hurt the person's feelings. still lying , somewhat

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:19 AM on Apr. 20, 2010

  • Example 3: There is a bank robbery and you happen to be inside the bank with your child. The man is threatening you with some nonsense, and it obviously out of his mind.. do you just go along and agree with him, at times lying, in order to ensure you don't set him off further to try to save the life of your child?

    Okay, onto the point: I'm not doing this to say lying is right or wrong in any situation. I'm just curious were others draw the line for it. Where do YOU think it's morally okay and when do YOU think it's not... and please explain why or why not.

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 7:53 AM on Apr. 20, 2010

  • #1: I would have just told the truth (“she just got out of the bath”)

    #2: I might try to gently suggest another outfit. But if she looks like she’ll get weepy about it, I would just say “you look just fine”. I wouldn’t go over the top with untrue compliments, but I wouldn’t snatch the rug out either.

    #3: You better believe that I would lie through my teeth! To save my life and maybe my child’s life?? Og yes, I’d lie and not feel bad about it afterwards!!

    I draw the line at blatant lying. The kind of lie that says “Yes you look AWESOME in that outfit”. When I really mean to say, “WHAT WERE YOU THINKING WOMAN?”

    Answer by VeronicaLee at 8:02 AM on Apr. 20, 2010

  • I completely agree with veronicalee

    Answer by SWEETPEAS3MOM at 8:11 AM on Apr. 20, 2010

  • #1 -- I don't believe that not answering a child's (that is not yours I might add) question about the opposite sex is a lie at all. If he would have pressed for an answer, I would have eventually just told him he needed to talk to his Mommy & Daddy.

    #2 -- As long as she isn't dressed like a clown going to a black tie event, why does it matter? Tell her she looks great and give her the evening out that she obviously needs.

    #3 -- I would do anything to save my child. Lie, cheat, steal, doesn't matter. If my child's life is in danger, I'll do whatever possible to make her safe without hesitation and not feel an ounce of guilt afterward.

    Answer by AllAboutKeeley at 9:22 AM on Apr. 20, 2010

  • #1 - "Hers is broke." Im kidding. I wouldnt say anything. I would look at his mother.
    #2 - I would tell her what I did like, and suggest something about the part I did not like.
    #3 - I could never know what to do until that situation happens. I would say a quick prayer and let God direct me. I would probably manipulate the bank robber. Uh, I dont know.

    Answer by 3gigglemonsters at 9:47 AM on Apr. 20, 2010

  • Im not perfect, but I dont lie often.
    Ppl have a hard time and hate me for it, but I am honest. Sometimes brutally honest. I think that lying comes from fear, and I have nothing to hide or be afraid of - not even hurting someones feelings. To me honesty is the best way to go. You can sugar coat a lie, but its still a lie.

    Answer by sugahmamma at 10:53 AM on Apr. 20, 2010

  • Ok in the first one avoiding the question by changing the subject or not answering is not lying. If it were me I would have told the truth girls don't have peepee's. Any further questions should be directed towards mom.
    Second question again I would be honest it makes your hips look wide or whatever then help pick something else out.
    Third scenario Damn straight I am telling this nut job what he wants to hear. It's what the police have been telling us to do since I was a kid. Don't be a hero and give them what they want. Your life is far more important than material objects. Things can be replaced people can't.
    The difference?? If someone's life is at stake I'll do it. If it simply means hurt feelings people recover from that so no. And when you can't argue the facts don't try. And sometimes sparing the details is ok that will vary depending on the situation.

    Answer by 2autisticsmom at 11:38 AM on Apr. 20, 2010

  • I am with 2autisticsmom, except with the second I would probably just tell her she looks fine and that is it, if she were to push the issue, I probably would tell she could do better, but that she does look fine.

    Answer by TBandNCmommy at 12:37 PM on Apr. 20, 2010

  • #1 - While I do think that there is such a thing as a lie by omission (such as a spouse hanging out with someone of the opposite sex, and never mentioning it) I don't see steering a child (who isn't yours) from a delicate subject as a lie.

    #2 - Unless NOTHING about her looked good, then telling her she looked good wouldn't be a lie. I wouldn't go on and on about her outfit, but I would think that there would be something to praise her on, be it her hair, makeup, etc. I would never tell someone who is already down that their outfit is ugly. Looks aren't everything.

    #3 - I would LIE, LIE, LIE, steal, cheat, kill, etc. for the life of my child. Period.

    Answer by DusterMommy at 12:50 PM on Apr. 20, 2010