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WHEN A CLOSE FRIEND SUDDENLY ISN'T EMOTIONALLY SUPPORTATIVE, WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

I feel let down by a close friend, since our kids were in preschool til 9th grade together. She was so supportive for me emotionally and got me through some difficult times, during the end of a 20 year marriage from an acholic spouse, for both me and my son. However, since my son's rebellion, she chilled towards him. My son has been the apple of my eye, and he didn't deserve the lot in home life that lacked a positive father image. I am in a good relationship, which my son gave his blessing, my issues with my son has nothing to do with the new man in my life (2 years), but my close friend feels if my son moved in with me he would destroy my personal relationship. She's glad that my son has left and is not in contact with me, so I can concentrate in my new man and new life. Well, it has hurt me, and most recently we had a spat. I plan to send a letter of apology but don't want to be friends. What would you do?

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csjoy1

Asked by csjoy1 at 2:09 PM on Apr. 20, 2010 in Relationships

Level 10 (450 Credits)
Answers (2)
  • You know, sometimes honesty isn't what you want to hear but I'm going to say it. You love your son and you love him unconditionally. Your friend loves YOU, and she loves YOU unconditionally. She sees what you don't see. Be the bigger friend and make ammends. From your account of the story, she is looking out for you and wants your new relationship to succeed. Your son will find his way, even if that means moving back in with you and resorting back to his old "rebellious" ways. Your friend, though, wants you to find your way. It is great that you want to send a letter of apology. But I would tell her to her face. You two are too good of friends to do it through an email and it will be much more powerful to tell her she is a good friend of yours in person.
    preggoandfat

    Answer by preggoandfat at 2:15 PM on Apr. 20, 2010

  • shruggingThanks for your comment above...I do hear you, however, I am weighing it carefully my feelings, as well as your comments.  Yes, good friends, stick very close, and this is why I am taking a bit back.  As a mom, and she knows my feelings towards him, she could have balanced, or reframed it with a bit more sensitivity, don't you think?  I'm just disappointed in her chill for my son, I guess, and the fact that being an empty nester, plus a rebellious son who I carry a lot of guilt over, she of all individuals would have shown more support, ya think?  csjoy1

    csjoy1

    Answer by csjoy1 at 2:29 PM on Apr. 20, 2010

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