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What are the expectations you have for your children?

BFF and I parent VERY similarly. We have a consequence/reward system that mimics one another's as well. Her DH thinks she's too rigid. My DH is pretty supportive of my parenting style.

My question is, what are your expectations for your children, at their current age(s)?

Mine are 6 & 3. They are both expected to say ma'am and sir, clean their rooms, throw their laundry in the hamper, and pick up after themselves. They each get a dime for each chore they do. In addition, my 6yr old is expected to help put the groceries away and feed the dogs.

Answer Question

Asked by Luvmylilmonkies at 3:01 PM on Apr. 20, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 6 (129 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • I'm rigid with my children. I have high expectations of them and what they can do... We work together as a family to ensure our house runs smoothly. They are 2, 4, and 6. Each morning my younger 2 help me walk around the house and we do a "house sweep" of things that are out of place. We fill a basket up and then empty it out by putting things away.

    All of my children are expected to put their silverware and cups in the sink after a meal. My eldest takes care of her plate as well. Each person has a job in helping prepare for dinner- the baby puts forks on the table, middle child ensures there are napkins and enough chairs for everyone to sit. (Chairs move around the house during the day for various reasons lol) and my eldest helps bring food to the table. Laundry is a group affair too. The younger kids help sort and "fold" and my middle son puts away clothes in his drawers. My daughter folds and puts away all of her own. :-)

    Answer by HistoryMamaX3 at 3:09 PM on Apr. 20, 2010

  • My kids are 22 and 11. We taught both kids to be respectful, honest, and caring. My 11 year old has autism, so structure, schedule and order are the house rules. He is expected to clean his room, help with putting laundry away, work in my garden~ weeding, that kind of thing. Also, help with dishes, and take the trash out. My 22 year old is living on her own, and so far, so good.

    Answer by Robsmommy at 3:10 PM on Apr. 20, 2010

  • Wow you need to to teach me a thing or two !!! You sound like you have awesome parenting skills !!!! I am little relaxed in the chore department. I am big on manners there I am very ridig. I am very ridig when it comes to school and homework must be done after school no if ands or buts !!! My expections for my children are just to become well rounded people and do something they love in life and contribute to society .

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:11 PM on Apr. 20, 2010

  • A exercise you can do is to look at a list of qualities you might want your child to have when they are adults. I did this when my children were young. The list the group I was doing it with had about 30 qualities. You got to pick your top 10. Then as you are parenting keep those top 10 in mind because you can't have all 30, no one is that goo.

    For the OP manners (ma'am & sir) are important to her. Not so much for me. Respect was one of mine that is close but not quite the same. Competent was one of mine - my sons can & do do everything including cooking and housework. Some of the things I didn't choose, now I wish I would have. Mostly, I'm happy with the results. They treat women great.

    The book Without Spanking or Spoiling by Elizabeth Crary has this and many other interesting exercises.

    Answer by Gailll at 3:25 PM on Apr. 20, 2010

  • omg, read child labor laws. That's just way too much for a little kid. Their job is to play, go to school and be a kid not your maid

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:46 PM on Apr. 20, 2010

  • Are you training them to grow up and be someone else's slave?

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:47 PM on Apr. 20, 2010

  • I want them to have manners. I want all 3 of them to be close, unlike my own brothers and me. I want them to appreciate their things and others property. I want them to find the positive in situations.
    As far as chores.for all three kids, they are to always keep thier clothes, books, and shoes where they belong and to respect them, to never dump them on the floor. I always say..."nice and neat" and they are used to it now.They all have keep toys in the bedroom. Their room is allowed mess, except the clothes.
    My daughter age 8 is expected to wash her hands, put her things up (backpack jacket) do homework, after school immediately. We fold her laundry together. She is getting more chores now.
    My son age 3, likes to cook....oh thank you!!! lol His responsibility so far is to put his milk back into the fridge each time.


    Answer by 3gigglemonsters at 3:58 PM on Apr. 20, 2010

  • My son is 5 and has Asperger's so my expectations are a little different. I expect him to be honest with me about how his day at school went good or bad. I expect him to clear his dinner plate. I expect him to pick up his toys from the living room at the end of the day when he has been instructed that, that is when it is going to happen. I expect him to keep his hands to himself though I understand that is very hard for him to understand sometimes. I do not expect him to clean his room (yet) for some reason having his toy put away and not where he 'wants' them really upsets him. I do not expect him to speak when spoken to. Some stranger scare him for unknown reasons. I do not expect him to always on his best behavior sometimes things happen and he no longer knows how to handle him self. WE are still learning and what I expect of him will increase as his understanding of the world and how it works increases.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:22 PM on Apr. 20, 2010

  • I expect them to show some respect for me and my husband.
    I expect them to mind(at least 90% of the time).
    I expect them to talk to me if they have problems and not scream out of frustration.
    I expect honesty when they are asked questions about their doings.

    Answer by Amaranth361 at 7:54 PM on Apr. 20, 2010

  • Child labor laws? Seriously? Let me explain WHY I'm tough on my kids. My mother had Fibromyalgia, just like ME. I was thrown into caring for myself and my 7 brothers when I was 12 yrs old. I cooked, cleaned, washed dishes, did laundry, even signed report cards b/c her hands were so severely wrecked by RA that she could no longer write. I want my children to learn, at an early age, to do things for themselves. They don't do NEARLY what I did as a child, but they need to learn these things b/c they need to have a good work ethic. I want them to learn the value of money and know that they have to work for it just like I do. I work FT, go to nursing school at night (where I graduate in 6 wks w/ a 3.8 GPA), raise 2 kids, AND I'm pregnant. Not to mention the fact that I have SEVERAL medical issues. I want my kids to be well-rounded, and I am succeeding already.

    Answer by Luvmylilmonkies at 9:23 AM on Apr. 21, 2010

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