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Mad at teacher

My son's teacher has been calling me all year about how he is disrespectful and doesn't listen. All year I had a suspicion it was the teacher, not my son, who has the problem. I went into today and observed and as I suspected my child was a model citizen. There were other kids who were FAR worse. I called the teacher out on this and the lack of misbehavior. The response! "Well, your son knew you were watching so he behaved better." I know this is partially true, but really. I don't think it would make that BIG of a difference. When I questioned the teacher about the behavior of the other children the response was "In our conversations I am just pointing out your son's behavior. I am not saying it is better or worse than other kids because frankly that isn't appropriate for me to discuss. I am saying its inappropriate." I am worried because this teacher is moving to the next grade and I don't this next year!

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:33 PM on Apr. 20, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (13)
  • someone is in denial.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:35 PM on Apr. 20, 2010

  • Teachers are not out to get students- I would take the teachers concerns seriously!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:37 PM on Apr. 20, 2010

  • You'd be surprised how much difference there is when you are watching. And she is right that she can't tell you how other kids are behaving. So, I wouldn't compare your son to the other kids. Is it possible for you to watch from outside the classroom, so your son doesn't know you're watching? If so, I'd try that. It seems clear there is a problem, but based on this one circumstance, it's hard to say for sure if it's your kid not behaving, or the teacher having a problem. Other than that, all I can say is tell the school you don't want him to have this teacher next year. Good luck!

    Answer by tropicalmama at 9:39 PM on Apr. 20, 2010

  • You are in some serious denial- it's not for you to worry about the other students, don't you think the teacher has been in contact with their parents as well?? Do you think the teacher has nothing better to do besides contact you about your perfectly behaved son?? Don't you think he was on his best behavior because you were there?? Don't you think it's hard to teach a class with more than 1 student distracting the the class???

    I'm not saying your kid is horrible- just that there are some issues, so deal with it- don't blame the teacher!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:42 PM on Apr. 20, 2010

  • As a teacher I know that I do not involve the parent until it is nessecary. I would meet with the teacher and figure out exactly what the problem is and what you can do to work together to fix it. You should work together as a team to let your son know you all have the same expectations for him.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:45 PM on Apr. 20, 2010

  • I can see your son acting better when you are around him! But I also have to say that NOT all teachers have the same value of teaching and that some teachers have a way of picking out students and making that childs experiance bad in that class... Teachers DO pick favorits and DO pick kids they just DON'T like, some teachers are shallow like that... I would talk with your son about it and try to watch him in the class without him knowing you are there, but I also wouldn't take what the teacher said to heart until you really know what is going on..
    I almost kinda had the same thing happen with my son, but I watched him when he didn't know I was round several different times and he was no where near what she was trying to say he was, she also went as far as to give me an adhd question booklet with out even asking if that is what I wanted to do... I jumped all over the social worker and she told me that she told the cont...

    Answer by randilinn at 8:23 AM on Apr. 21, 2010

  • told the teacher she had to ask me first and see how I felt about the test being done. She NEVER did and just told me to fill it out, needless to say she got in trouble and after all this happened I don't even ask how he was in school becuase I wouldn't believe anything she said anyway... and now that all this has happened he has all of a sudden been doing really good in class even though NOTHING has changed! Gl and find out for yourself!

    Answer by randilinn at 8:25 AM on Apr. 21, 2010

  • I would imagine your child was MUCH better behaved when you were watching - what child wouldn't be?!? I don't see any reason why the teacher would be involving you without reason, and she's right, it would be inappropriate for her to discuss the other children's behavior with you. But since there is obviously a conflict already between you/child vs teacher, I would talk to the principal and tell him/her that you don't think it's been a good match between them this year and you would like to request a different teacher next year.

    Answer by missanc at 8:26 AM on Apr. 21, 2010

  • I agree with Missanc, request a different teacher for next year because it probably won't get any better!

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:00 AM on Apr. 21, 2010

  • It doesn't help for you to be IN the classroom observing. Your child will behave better - and so will the teacher! If it's him you won't know it by him knowing you are there, and if for some reason it's HER, she'll be on her best behavior as well.

    I remember when I was in elementary school and the teachers would have to have an evaluation and a "special visitor" would sit in to observe how they teach. I was thinking, "Even if they suck the observer isn't going to know it" because obviously if they do things they know are wrong they WON'T do it with an observer there.

    Like someone said, just request someone new for next year.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:33 PM on Apr. 21, 2010

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