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how would you handle this situation ?

So my best friend Ava has a son the same age as my daughter Cassie, nick (both 16) we live next door to each other, so nick and cassie have been best friends since they were in diapers prettymuch. Last week, i got a call from cassie at 1 a.m. asking me to come and get her from a friends house, she was supposed to be sleeping over a different friends house, but i guess they must have snuck out or something but we have a deal that if she calls me asking for a ride, i don't ask anything, i just come. so i came and got them, and only nick and cassie were there to get in the car, and by the look&smell of them, i knew they were drunk. Cassie asked if nick could sleepover since he'd be locked out of his house, and i said yes, because this kid has been in our family for SO LONG, i didnt really think about the whole hormones/alcohol thing. my husband walked into her room the next day, and her and nick was on top of her, shirtless *CONT

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xxDianaxx

Asked by xxDianaxx at 9:33 PM on Apr. 20, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 1 (3 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • and she was in her bra and underwear, and they were making out on her bed! it makes me feel likes shes totally taking advantage or me bc 1. she knew i would come and get her with no questions bc i would be so happy she called, 2. she knew i would let nick sleepover in her room without any question bc i've known him for so long! i don't know...i mean im so HAPPY she did call me and didnt take a ride from a drink driver, but still....
    and i really want to talk to her about whats going on with nick, bc i do love the boy to death, but i wish i could like talk to them together about this kind of stuff you know? i just im justreally confused,
    xxDianaxx

    Answer by xxDianaxx at 9:38 PM on Apr. 20, 2010

  • What is wrong with you,so why can't you ask her why shes been drinking.its amazing how hard people act like "friends" instead of PARENTS.In other words who cares shes been drinking,as long as she calls and who cares she manipulated you into all of this as long as is NICK.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:42 PM on Apr. 20, 2010

  • Staying over doesn't bother me but you let him sleep IN HER ROOM? WTF were you thinking? I am hoping this is a joke
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:46 PM on Apr. 20, 2010

  • I would get together with your daughter, friend and her son and have a serious disscussion. You need to set some boundries and stick to them!!!
    skittles1108

    Answer by skittles1108 at 9:53 PM on Apr. 20, 2010

  • IN HER ROOM??!!

    I was hesitant when you let the boy over but figured he was in a guest room, on a coutch, something..... BUT IN HER ROOM???!!!

    I have no idea........ maybe appologize to your daughter for not having any common sence and putting the peer pressure right there in front of her. Tell her how wrong you were. How you completely blew it.

    Then start again with clear rules...... and think them through.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:37 AM on Apr. 21, 2010

  • You didn't tell his parents that he'd been drinking???? Seriously? A month ago my best friend's 14yo son came tto my house at midnight & asked us he we could tell he was drunk (he'd been to a party). We told him that we could and I told him flat out that he BETTER tell his mom because I was calling her in the morning and asking her if he told her. NO WAY could I walk around knowing that a 14yo drank and keep it from my friend! He did tell her and I did call her to check.

    Also, just because they have known each other since they were babies doesn't mean that feelings would develop. Yeah, it's their fault but it's yours for not paying attention.

    YES...tell his parents. Tell them that he drank, tell them tnhat you let him stay at your house because he was locked out and tell him that you caught them alone. They probably won't want to be friends any more but they have a right to know.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:25 AM on Apr. 21, 2010

  • IN her room?? Really?? I don't care HOW well you know the boy (or girl in the opposite situation); you don't let them stay in the same room unless they are MARRIED!!!!

    You have GOT to tell his parents. They need to know that their 16 yr old son was drunk and then was caught making out with your daughter. And both sets of parents have got to come up with the way to handle the situation. It is all fine and well that she called you, yeah for her, but it is the rest of it that needs to be discussed. Some of the best relationships started out as good friends as my son and his fiance - but we don't allow the two of them in a room alone overnight.
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 8:12 AM on Apr. 21, 2010

  • Time to be the parent. That was really stupid of you! Just admit that your parenting policies have been a complete disaster and it is time to start over. Starting with the fact that you will pick her up but won't give her the 3rd degree until the morning. It is time for the third degree NOW.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:32 AM on Apr. 21, 2010

  • how you and your daughter handle these situation about no questions asked , is up to you.both. but I still think if not everything she should tell you something so you at least know more or less of whats going on with your daughter. And having the boy over was okay. but in the same room with her?! really!? your just asking for touble there.
    incarnita

    Answer by incarnita at 8:59 AM on Apr. 21, 2010

  • ***ADDITIONAL INFORMATION: i didnt allow them to sleep in the same room. its true i had never said that night "okay, but nick sleeps in the room down the hall" but i didnt mean he would be allowed to sleep in her room. I (stupidly) figured that they would just do that on their down since its been done like that a few times before that also. So him sleeping in her room is ANOTHER reason i'm mad at her about this
    xxDianaxx

    Answer by xxDianaxx at 2:44 PM on Apr. 21, 2010

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