Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

If your husband sucked in bed?

What would you do? You are not suppose to cheat...However I am in need of a caring lovable guy. My dh is all about himself. I hate it. I am going crazy. Even now he is on viagra...Does not help. He has been on 3 different meds. I have had to resort to pleasing myself. Nothing...no hugs, no holding. he loves sex..He is always ready but it last a few minutes and he is done.....

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:15 PM on Apr. 20, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • I'd probably look into seeing a sex therapist as a couple.

    Even if he medically can't "perform" for very long, there's still lots he can do to pleasure you...and a sex therapist can help him figure that out.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:18 PM on Apr. 20, 2010

  • yeah and maybe try to spice things up a bit nothing really kinky but try going to a adult store and find some things you guys might like if he comes to quick maybe you can get a vibarator that he can use on you so you can orgasm too. and definetly talk to the sex therapist.
    symle456

    Answer by symle456 at 11:22 PM on Apr. 20, 2010

  • this is as hard for him as it is for you. explain your needs when you're not in the heat of the moment. if he was able to bring you to climax by ways other than intercourse, and gave you the hugs and holding you crave, would you be satisfied? if so, make sure you communicate that to him. obviously he cares, or he wouldn't be trying medication. he's probably very embarrassed, and afraid to do anything that might make the situation worse. talk to him. he needs to know exactly how you feel. men are not good at guessing what women need. he might feel that if he can't keep an erection, then you don't want him to give you any affection. guys are dumb like that lol! good luck, don't cheat : )

    bestmommyeber

    Answer by bestmommyeber at 11:24 PM on Apr. 20, 2010

  • omg I swear I think I'm having an affair with your dh. He's like that very selfish, never giving and he has been trying out viagra and other pills but I told him stop it or go somewhere else. I hate it when he's on that. I don't mind the one or two minute sex but I want it natural, not with that pill. He's not very nice when he's on that crap. Does your's basically just want to receive oral? Mine does. That's getting old. I like the ole boy so I'll hang in there but some days it gets frustrating. I used to want a lovable guy but when I went looking they were too sappy for me so I stuck with the ole grizzly bear that wouldn't be romantic or even nice most of the time if he had to. He just thinks the world revolves around him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:28 PM on Apr. 20, 2010

  • Sounds like my STBX. I will definitely NOT be missing our sex life.
    rio_burb

    Answer by rio_burb at 11:37 PM on Apr. 20, 2010

  • I would HIGHLY recommend you both seek the help of a sex therapist.

    Cheating will not only make your sex life with your husband worse but will also crush him emotionally.

    Hurting someone who is hurting you is not the way to fix this.

    Most men learn what they know about sex from friends, movies and porn. Maybe he just doesn't REALIZE that he's being selfish.

    My husband and I had a little issue like this before. It wasn't exactly the same but basically I was pregnant and having issues seperating myself as a mom and as a wife. Sex made me feel dirty and because of that we didn't have sex very often. When we did my extreme tightness (even more than usual. LOL) from being pregnant and the fact that we didn't have sex very often he would cum in like 1 minute.

    It was INFURIATING. I was pregnant and in the end I NEEDED sex. I told him and we worked through it with different techniques and things are now great.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:55 PM on Apr. 20, 2010

  • Do not cheat...it won't solve anything but instead bring about a whole mess of problems. Get a vibrator or a shower head with a hose attachment.
    My first husband was a minute man. I never knew what it was to have "the BIG_O" in sex until after we were divorced...I had been with him from the age of 16 until the age of 26. I didn't divorce him because he was a bad lover though...I divorced him because he became abusive, then I was free to be sexually involved with others. I now have a husband who can be good if he takes the time, usually though he doesn't.
    That is why I say just go with the toys, mainly the "jack Rabbit" ( adam&eve.com) that way you control the pleasure and how long it will or won't last.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:44 AM on Apr. 21, 2010

  • start talking about it I know I have been in a relationship for ten years its almost over but the sex was not there and the couple of times it was it lasted five minutes. Now I have lost weight and I am still losing the last fifty pounds and starting my own business I am working on being able to support myself and move to Japan. If you need something else try talking to him and telling him what you feel offer up counseling if this does not work go by yourself give it 6 months to a year and if it does not get better start working on your own goals but do not let this issue linger. I do not care what people say a sexless marriage is okay but it depends on your needs what you can live with if you cannot live with it do something about it.

    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 7:05 AM on Apr. 21, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN