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Do you feel like it's pointless to try to get people to like/respect you?

My MIL has been hateful to me since day one. I have ALWAYS been the bigger person and tried my hardest to be polite and just keep my mouth shut to keep the peace. It ticked DH off when she acted that way, but he put off saying anything to her. When I was pregnant with my youngest son *had him June 2009* I just couldn't take it any more. At a family birthday party, MIL refused to speak to me/ignored me, then whined to the entire room about a decision my DH made, insisting that I MADE him do it. I had an anxiety attack and left. I told DH that I refused to go to another family function until she stopped acting like I ruined her life. He did talk to her, and she screamed at him and caused a huge scene, denying every thing. Even though the rest of the family agreed with DH. Why should I even try any more? She flakes on our kids, never calls to check on us or DH while he's in Iraq and continues her personal vendetta


Asked by Anonymous at 1:04 AM on Apr. 21, 2010 in Just for Fun

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • Ick, what a crazy woman. I'd ignore her as much as possible. She would have to earn her way back into our lives by proving she's not a psycho bitch anymore. You did your best, now it's up to her to prove she's worthy grandma material.

    Answer by Pnukey at 9:37 AM on Apr. 21, 2010

  • ...against me. I honestly do not know why she dislikes me other than the fact that I don't listen to her lies. Her and her BF are big time liars and I won't stand for it. I've told them both that if they have other plans after they make plans with my kids that THEY need to be the ones to tell them instead of leaving us to break their little hearts. She doesn't like the fact that DH never stood up for himself before he met me, and I"m not going to kiss her ass like some other family members do. What's the point? It's been almost 12 years and I've done every thing I can. I've invited her over to talk, out to eat, shopping, to see the kids and even to talk to DH on Skype and she refuses. She said outright that she doesn't care if I attend family functions as long as she gets to see my kids.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:07 AM on Apr. 21, 2010

  • I feel ya. My MIL is practically a stranger to our daughter, and yet that is somehow *my* fault. Luckily, my DH doesn't stand for that kind of crap, and the last time she brought up my name in a negative fashion, he told her that if she ever spoke about me that way again, he'd hang up the phone and never call her back.

    I've never tried to gain her approval. It simply doesn't mean that much to me. I'm always civil, though.

    Answer by DusterMommy at 1:13 AM on Apr. 21, 2010

  • OP here; even being civil now after all the hell she put me through is hard. It's not like I have no manners, but as soon as she opens her mouth, I know she's going to lie. And she will argue until she is blue in the face even when a whole room full of people tell her she is mistaken. She gets so butt hurt if DH won't fall for her crap. She called here crying because she couldn't get DH on the phone the other day. Well I've told her about 20 times and so has he that there is an 8 hour time difference in here and Iraq. He has called her several times and she wouldn't pick up the phone, but if she wants to call him at 2am his time, she expects him to answer! It's just stupid! I didn't necessarily need her approval, but it'd be nice to have a conversation without her little comments about things that we both know are bull. I can't stand for her to lie to my kids.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:19 AM on Apr. 21, 2010

  • My husband stood up for me. Now my MIL will have nothing to do with us and hasn't seen her grand kids or great grand kids for over 20 years. Her loss.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:23 PM on Apr. 21, 2010