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How do you feel if your hubby tells someone about your fights/marital issues?

My hubby has a family member that he is pretty close with. I recently figured out that they talk about their marital issues. They discuss marriage workshops that the family member and his wife are going to. I know that they are helping each other and our marriages, but I feel really stupid having people know my personal business. The big thing is that he thinks I don't know about this. Why won't he tell me about the workshop advice. I think it's because of that feeling that many of us have that I have to be the perfect mom and wife to the outside world. We all know nobody is perfect, but I just hate people knowing about our issues! Any advice or does anyone else go through this?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:26 AM on Apr. 21, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • the first thing you should look at is why you said, "my personal business."

    he has a right to talk about it because its his business too..

    but he should talk to you about any advice he gets
    Jan0609momma

    Answer by Jan0609momma at 2:05 AM on Apr. 21, 2010

  • I understand how you feel.

    I think he's not wrong.... That you both need to sit down and discuss what should remain private, and how many or who's being let into the private aspects of your life.

    I'm only offended or only would be offended if it were a random person, or if it's something he's yet to discuss with me first.
    Skepticchick

    Answer by Skepticchick at 2:14 AM on Apr. 21, 2010

  • I HATE IT!!!! But, I have no right to because i tell my friends about our issues :)
    momofone072506

    Answer by momofone072506 at 3:50 AM on Apr. 21, 2010

  • I so agree with you, I'm a private person and I don't want any knowing what goes on in my life, if people know stuff about me I don't want them to know it makes me feel uncomfortable.

    looovemybabies

    Answer by looovemybabies at 4:15 AM on Apr. 21, 2010

  • I think it would depend on who he was talking to, and what exactly he was saying. See, in my first marriage, I used to go to my family and close friends. They, of course, took my side, whether I was right or wrong, which led to a point where no matter what, I heard "You should leave him". Every little argument, every hurtful thing he said that I told them about, built up and they never forgot it. So, now, as much as I love my family and close friends, I keep what happens between me and him, b/c I don't want them doing that again. I know I love him and want to be with him for life, so I don't need people who will always tell me to leave him. If he was truly trying to get advice, and talking to someone who could give useful advice, I'd be ok with it. If he was just complaining about me, I probably wouldn't be very happy about that. If there's something you really don't want him talking about, tell him.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 6:21 AM on Apr. 21, 2010

  • Thanks for all the input ladies : )
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:33 PM on Apr. 21, 2010

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