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We want to adopt

My fiance' and I want to start the adoption process immediately after the wedding (5/29/2010) but I keep coming up short when i try to research on the internet. Has anyone had a domestic adoption? Can you give me the name of the agency in Kentucky, the time frame etc.?

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stacyfru

Asked by stacyfru at 12:59 PM on Apr. 21, 2010 in Adoption

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Answers (10)
  • Have you considered adoption from foster care? Not only is it usually free to low cost, you would be giving a home to a child who truly needs one.

    Domestic adoptions do nothing but split up perfectly capable families facing temporary issues.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:22 PM on Apr. 21, 2010

  • I have considered that but I cannot take a chance of my daughter getting attached to a child then that child being given back to his/her family.
    stacyfru

    Answer by stacyfru at 1:25 PM on Apr. 21, 2010

  • Some agencies require that you be married for a certain length of time, so be careful when researching... Honestly, I would google Kentucky adoption agencies and then begin to research the ones that come up. There is a site that you can go to that rates agencies.
    Remember, if you are going Domestic infant adoption you will have to wait to be matched with an expectant mom that is considering placement. This means you could wait weeks or years.... Research all facets of adoption- attachment, bonding, attachment disorders, open adoption, semi open adoption, etc.
    mcginnisc

    Answer by mcginnisc at 1:47 PM on Apr. 21, 2010

  • I think there is one called Helping Hands Adoption, if you type in adoption and the state you livein you will get a lot more results, also adoption.org has a lot of info

    MiddletonFamily

    Answer by MiddletonFamily at 2:16 PM on Apr. 21, 2010

  • I agree with adopting through foster care. I know that when my husband and I searched for adoption that you had to be married either 3 or 5 years.. and had to be at least 25 years old. With foster care, you have to be married 1 year and other than going through the parenting classes, which we loved... That was it, and it didn't cost a dime.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:56 PM on Apr. 21, 2010

  • You should read the book "The Adoption Resource Book" by Lois Gilman. It will give you lots of information about various types of adoption both domestic and international, things to consider when choosing an agency etc. It also includes a list of agencies. It also explains how private adoptions work and options there (i.e. no agency involved. You use an adoption attorney and possibly an agency to do advertising for you). I agree with the other poster that you may find you need to be married for a certain amount of time before some agencies will accept you. Some also only work with families that have fertility issues. If you haven't been married long, you might find proving this a bit more difficult. We adopted domestically in 2007. It took us 6 months to get through the homestudy, courses, etc (requirements probably vary by state), then we waited 21 months.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:21 PM on Apr. 21, 2010

  • Well, adopting domestically has that same chance. This case, the expectant mother is not unfit and can take the child back within a given time frame, depending on the state alws. You could have baby home for even a few weeks and she can change her mind and take the child back and there is nothing you can do.

    And what the hell do you mean "my daughter getting attached".....we're talking about a person, not a damned puppy.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:32 PM on Apr. 21, 2010

  • I am well aware we are talking about a child and not a puppy. But no, I would not want my daughter to think she is a big sister just for the state to take the child from my foster care to an adoptive family.
    stacyfru

    Answer by stacyfru at 8:41 PM on Apr. 21, 2010

  • I don't agree that domestic adoption always splits up perfectly capable families. If you are open to "special circumstances", like substance-exposed children, you can be sure you will be giving a home to a child who truly needs one (and I am not one to say that there is anything wrong with adopting a child from a woman who just does not feel that it is something she wants to do at that time, as long as you are using an agency that practices ethically). Both of my kids were exposed to drugs in-utero, and DS was born addicted. Both women have lost their older children due to the drug use. That is why I do not agree with that statement as a black and white rule.

    OP, I understand your concern about your daughter becoming attached. That was one of our fears when we were adopting our second child. We were so afraid our daughter would be hurt if we had to let him go. What a relief when we finalized! GL!
    Iamgr8teful

    Answer by Iamgr8teful at 9:18 PM on Apr. 21, 2010

  • Many programs are going to require that you establish your marriage for a few years before you begin the adoption process. That will give you time to get settled and have time together while you decide which path to adoption suits you best. The magazine Adoptive Families is an outstanding resource that will allow you to compare many different paths to adoption. They are the most reputable publisher in the adoption industry.
    Suzy_Sunshine

    Answer by Suzy_Sunshine at 11:10 AM on Apr. 22, 2010

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