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inlaws wont let us borrow money...

Now we have our own house and we were making really good money...but now we are having money troubles ( they should be short lived) ..we have enough for bills and stuff but absolutely nothing left over... My inlaws have alot of money ( we live in a cheap place and they get almost 7,000/month) ... they also have borrowed money from us many times...and they give alot of money to BIL who doesnt work and basically doesnt do anything ( I clean MIls house, and we take them places) ...I mean I obviously know its there money, and its our problem... but I dont understand how they cannot LOAN us a little bit ( to get the kids some school stuff) ... It makes me mad, also they are the type who will spend $100s on their other grandkids, but go to the Dollar Tree ( where everything is $1) for ours. And now they still expect us to do everything for them, when they wont help us...

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Asked by Anonymous at 1:23 PM on Apr. 21, 2010 in Just for Fun

Answers (11)
  • I'm sorry, but I don't think they are obligated to give you money just because they have it. How they spend their money and who they spend it on is their business

    Answer by peanutsmommy1 at 1:25 PM on Apr. 21, 2010

  • just dont help them out anymore. i would not help someone who would not help me. it a two way street. dont allow someone to take and never give.

    Answer by cassie_m at 1:25 PM on Apr. 21, 2010

  • Be thankful you do not have to give them money! That is what we had to do with my inlaws last to the tune of $10,000!

    Answer by lapcounter at 1:26 PM on Apr. 21, 2010

  • Yeah, if they treat you so awfully, don't do anything for them anymore. They can go to the loser BIL to clean the house and take them places. MIL never gives us anything either, but she helps SIL a ton, so we just don't do shit for her.

    Answer by Pnukey at 1:30 PM on Apr. 21, 2010

  • If that is their attitude toward family needing help, screw them. Don't ask them for anything and don't let them borrow another dime and stop cleaning their house. Even though their money is theirs to spend how they want, there is no excuse for what they are doing.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:31 PM on Apr. 21, 2010

  • It seems strange that they have so much money, but they have had to borrow from you in the past.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:40 PM on Apr. 21, 2010

  • Anon:40 - It seems strange that they have so much money, but they have had to borrow from you in the past.

    This is exactly what I was thinking. If they really are as well off as you believe them to be then why would they ever need to borrow money from you?

    If the situation is as you say, then I would stop being so available when they need help, and I wouldn't expect anything from them.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:13 PM on Apr. 21, 2010

  • The way I was raised, you help family out IF you can. BUT...I also was raised to understand that my family helping me was exactly that: helping. And not b/c they have to, but b/c they care and they want to. I was taught that I am not entitled to any help, so that I would appreciate it when people did help me. And to return the favor to others when I could.

    Unfortunately, it sounds like they don't have the same beliefs. I do think they are not obligated to help you, but it would have been a nice thing for them to do. I would just deal with your situation the best you can, and when they come to you for help next time, just tell them you can't help them.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 2:31 PM on Apr. 21, 2010

  • No one's job to loan you money. Would be nice if they would, but due to the fact that we are all responsible for ourselves, you really can't get too bent out of shape on this one.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:08 PM on Apr. 21, 2010

  • ***OP ****

    They just started getting the extra money , is why they have so much now...we have loaned them money until they were able to get that much....

    I know it isnt their job or responsibility to loan us money... but I think since we have given them money whenever they needed it, and since they do have extra now ( they are literally spending it on lottery tickets) .... and since it is for their grandkids.....

    I am just upset that we can reply on them like we though ( and how they can rely on us)

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:36 PM on Apr. 21, 2010

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