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marital issues?? need others opinion

to start things off my husband and i have been married for 5 years and have 2 wonderful kids.he likes to talk to women sexually and send and receive nude photos.it has progressively gotten worse,first it was just women he met at a party,then it turned into just women online,then it went to an ex gf,then it went to 2 of my good friends who happened to be old neighbors.what he is doing has never gotten physical,but i feel what he has been doing is still wrong and cheating in my book.there has been 2 times that he has stated that he loves the woman he is talking to,and what i dont get is he says he has "strong feelings"for them and says that he loves them.i was severly hurt by this cause i dont think any of the women he has talked to are attractive but he tells me that they are sexy and it makes me feel really ugly.he tells me that our marriage and sex life are boring. i kicked him out of the house for nearly two ,more to follow

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:13 PM on Apr. 21, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (21)
  • What you are asking is completely fair. He broke the trust and has to follow your terms if he is serious about getting it back. And I am sorry but when you take a friendship to the next level like he did with this person then you don't have the right to keep them as a friend when you are trying to get back with your wife. This is the person that almost cost him his marriage and he thinks he should still be able to email her a howdy-do when he wants to? No way. That is called having your cake and eating it, too, and it just doesn't work that way. Stand firm on your demands, this one is reasonable, and if he isn't serious about earning your trust back now he may never be. Better to find out early on either way so you can fix this marriage or get on with your life. I don't think there is a marriage counselor in the world who would tell him he can keep contact with this woman and genuinely work on your marriage at the same time.
    MaryMW

    Answer by MaryMW at 3:52 PM on Apr. 21, 2010

  • tell him to stop. if he cant respect you its not really worth it is it?
    cassie_m

    Answer by cassie_m at 3:14 PM on Apr. 21, 2010

  • kick him to the curb
    Nessasmomma

    Answer by Nessasmomma at 3:16 PM on Apr. 21, 2010

  • I agree. What he is doing is blatant disrespect and you should care more about yourself then to tolerate this. Also, you children are learning about relationships by your example, if you show them that this is ok, they will seek out this type of relationship...........you don't want that..............right?
    TheDiva320

    Answer by TheDiva320 at 3:16 PM on Apr. 21, 2010

  • That wouldn't fly in my marriage. Either he is married to YOU or he isn't. He needs to decide and you need to see to it that he makes a decision. This will eventually ruin your relationship. Nip it or get out. That's my vote.
    CaseyErin

    Answer by CaseyErin at 3:16 PM on Apr. 21, 2010

  • He's GONE. Yesterday. You don't need this.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 3:18 PM on Apr. 21, 2010

  • weeks.i asked him not to contact me in any way and not to show up at my parents house if he missed me or the kids.i found out the week he was gone that he has a "gf" who just so happens to be a close friend of mine,so i thought. she lives on the other side of the US,and she flat out told him to leave me and take our kids from me and move in with her on the other side of the US and not tell me.well that is just a small amount of what has been going on in my f***ed marriage.before the weekend got here(the week that the kids and i were gone)i got a text from him begging me to come home cause he missed me and the kids and wanted to work things out, be a family for the weekend and be civil.i asked him if i came home if he would not talk to her in any way shape or form.he agreed.it been nearly 2 weeks since all this has happened and things have been going great for us,we have been working things out, but i feel one more thing needs
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:18 PM on Apr. 21, 2010

  • I have been married for 5 yrs to my 2nd husband. My 1st was like yours, a pig (sorry but its the truth) your DH has no respect for women period! One thing I learned from my 2nd husband is that a wife is to be treated with respect and consideration, that first i am a person and his wife....Time for you to move on before you loose so much self esteem that you won't care anymore.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:18 PM on Apr. 21, 2010

  • there is a simple solution to this problem..num one that is considered cheating..its going outside of your marriage for images/ sexual or not i consider that cheating!!! Lose this dirt bag and find someone that will love you and treat you with some respect! Get rid of him!! I def would..and i would confront those other losers that are sick enough to do these things with him and ask them what kind of women they are to do such...theres only one certain word that comes to mind skanky
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:19 PM on Apr. 21, 2010

  • to be done before we work any farther on our marriage.i feel that he should get rid of her phone number,email,facebook,myspace and all that other crap and change his phone number.but he says no cause she is his "friend" and its not fair to him.i explained that its not forever its just intil we get our marriage back on track,and this would be his way of proving to me that he wants to change and work things out.because i see her as a temptation and ya it may just only be hello how are you doing today kind of emails/ texts but that is how it started before.i told my husband i have absolutely no trust or respect for him what so ever for what all he has done to me.do you think i am in the wrong for asking him to get rid of her number email and all that other stuff and change his number?he says it sounds like he is in prision and i am the warden.i think what i am asking is only fair.what do you think?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:21 PM on Apr. 21, 2010

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