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Just curious as to how many of you have had or considered having your husband have a vasectomy after having only one child. My husband and Ihave discussed it b/c I really want to be off of birth control. ( every kind has made me sick) I dont want to spend the rest of our lives using condoms and worrying about not using them. Our first was an "accident" which I HATE saying b/c I love her so much, but we would like to be able to enjoy our lives without another child and focus our time on her and ourselves. Some people might view this as selfish but we really dont want to spend the money on another child. I just want to know your opinions on the situation. I still sometimes get a little sad b/c it is permanent but at the same time.. I am not sure I want another one either. I feel like its as much of a stigma to say I dont want another one than to say something else. Does anyone else feel this way?

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Asked by Anonymous at 5:23 PM on Apr. 21, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • My Hubby and I decided on a vasectomy because he said I went through all of the work carrying them and giving birth, it was the least he could do. We don't have any biological children together but we do have 3, from a previous marriage of mine. He loves them all as his own, and they love him. It may seem selfish to some, but to me if it works for your marriage, and you're ready to take a step in a different direction, and out of the baby world then it's not for anyone else to decide. We enjoy our boys, they are the center of our world, and if we were to have a baby it would take away from their opportunity to go to college, etc.

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 5:34 PM on Apr. 21, 2010

  • We're planning one, when we can save up for it. Instead of saying "accident"? A friend of my mom's use to call her DD a "delightful surprise" The girl was a bit younger then I was and would tell people that's what she was. She was very proud of it and I think it made her feel special.

    Answer by daisy521 at 5:36 PM on Apr. 21, 2010

  • I don't think your being selfish by not wanting another child. At least you aren't one of those who just keep having children when you know you can't handle them. A vasectomy is a huge decision, so I think you guys just need to really talk it out and make sure you will not regret it later. Sure, you may not want anymore kids at this point and time but your thoughts could be completely different 5 years down the line. Have you tried any form of IUD? I know the mirena will keep you protected for up to 5 years, and then you can have it replaced. I would just try and consider all of your options before making a decision such as this one. I have 2 children already and there are days when I am thinking "NO MORE!!" But then I have other days that I second guess that. Everyone is different though so just do what you think is right.

    Answer by Ctink8189 at 5:38 PM on Apr. 21, 2010

  • So you know...vasectomies are reversible should you ever change your mind.

    NOTHING selfish here.

    Answer by gdiamante at 5:40 PM on Apr. 21, 2010

  • have you tried Mirena Iud birth control? it last 5 yrs and then if you ever change your mind you can get pregnant or put another one in for another 5 yrs

    Vasectomies are good and they can be reversed but its costly and how do you know you wont change your mind in a couple of yrs

    ****** I still sometimes get a little sad b/c it is permanent but at the same time *******

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:47 PM on Apr. 21, 2010

  • Thanks for all the replies ladies. I am gonna cut a deal with my hubby. I will try to mirena and in five years we still dont want to have another.. We will do the vasectomy. I think he just sees me struggle with some of the birth control side effects and he would just do it himself. Hes 7 years older than me.. im 25 hes 32.. which isnt old but he says he doesnt want to be 40 years old and have a little kid with me or anyone else haha! He thinks hes sooo old!

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:38 AM on Apr. 22, 2010

  • oh and the anyone else didnt mean hes gonna go out and cheat.. he was saying it to make me feel better..

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:38 AM on Apr. 22, 2010

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