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my husband and daughter issue

my daughter is not my husbands bio dad. bio dad is in the picture and always will be. we want my husband to adopt her but bio dad hasn't agreed to this yet. anyway i have stated that i would add my husbands new name to her orginal last name and my husband says he doesn't want her dads name anywhere in her name. i feel that taking it away from her, is kinda saying she has no connection to who she really is and who her father really is. although my husband is more a father then he is by being there, always. it's not as if we have to use his name it would just show on her birth certificate when that gets changed. am i wrong? i understand how he feels but i don't want to take away from my daughter and i think it's better for my daughter to have that connection and i think husband is being selfsh in his feelings about it. it should be about her not him. opinions please

Answer Question
 
melody77

Asked by melody77 at 9:11 PM on Apr. 21, 2010 in Relationships

Level 18 (5,435 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • if her bio dad is still in her life, i dont see why he needs to adopt her or change her last name?
    how old is she? can she decide herself?
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 9:15 PM on Apr. 21, 2010

  • I don't think last names for girls are a really big deal either way they get married and usually change them. She's most likely going to get a new one in the new decade or two anyway so I wouldn't make a stand for it either way.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:20 PM on Apr. 21, 2010

  • I completely agree with you. Your hubby is being very selfish and taking his feelings for your ex out in a way on your DD. Which is wrong in my eyes. My sons father pass away when he was 3 months old and when I re-married I dropped his first name and made his fathers last name his middle name cause it is a name (Phillip) So ya his is pass away, but it a little different in your situation but to you and your hubby her bio-father is not there or around so he is in a sense pass away. I hope you can understand where I am coming from or thinking and looking at your situation you need to make the best and fairest decision for your child cause no matter what at the end of the day your DD is what matters and needs to come first no matter what.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:21 PM on Apr. 21, 2010

  • "my daughter is not my husbands bio dad"
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:24 PM on Apr. 21, 2010

  • she is only 4 and oops. for last anon. i thought that sounded wrong but was in a hurry typing.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 9:28 PM on Apr. 21, 2010

  • Hopefully bio dad will show his dd that he loves her enough to not give up his rights and won't let selfish step dad control her life and her name and her life.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:31 PM on Apr. 21, 2010

  • If her bio dad is in her life WHY is your hubs adopting her?? Why can't she have them both with out that???
    I don't see the point of doing that unless bio dad is not involved.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:33 PM on Apr. 21, 2010

  • well we want him to adopt her for religious issues that unless your LDS you may not understand. also cause we would want all the kids to have the same last name especially when it comes to them going to school. so that kids won't tease and say their not related or something just wrong. her bio dad doesn't do anything more then just his other wkends and pays his child support.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 10:28 PM on Apr. 21, 2010

  • You're both wrong to try to disassociate your daughter from HER FATHER.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:30 PM on Apr. 21, 2010

  • her bio dad doesn't do anything more then just his other wkends and pays his child support.


     


    So, he's doing everything he's obligated to do and everything he's legally entitled to and that's somehow not good enough?

    Avarah

    Answer by Avarah at 10:33 PM on Apr. 21, 2010

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