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how can i accept his porn?

I never hated porn before but I hate the idea of my SO watching it. He only watches is like once a week if that, and hes open about it. I just wish hed not be so open about it but at the same time Im glad hes open.
I think I hate it because I have never been this heavy, so my insecurity is through the roof. He knows it bothers me, but hes a guy so whatever....

 
sassy_brizzy

Asked by sassy_brizzy at 10:04 PM on Apr. 21, 2010 in Relationships

Level 15 (1,835 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • I'm the wife of a porn addict...and thank goodness, it doesn't sound like your man is at addict level. But I've seen how destructive it can be...starting with the little things like you feeling less secure in your body and sexual relationship.

    However "normal" people may think it is, after everything I've been through, I see no reason in the world to find it "just fine and acceptable."

    Anyway, a non-addict will choose to be with a real woman over watching pixels. Maybe at this point you just need something simple like "instead of you watching fake orgasms, let's go to our bedroom and see what real fun we can have."

    good luck
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:03 PM on Apr. 21, 2010

  • have you talked to him about how you feel? Have you watched it with him? No need to feel insecure it is very natural to watch porn now and then, the only time you should ever worrie about it is when it is ALL the time everyday.
    Younganproud

    Answer by Younganproud at 10:07 PM on Apr. 21, 2010

  • If he were a sports fanatic, how would you accept him watching sports and playing sports all the time? (or tv or video games or hunting) It's just another form of entertainment for him. It has nothing to do with his feelings for you.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:35 PM on Apr. 21, 2010

  • one way to "get over" it, is to givew yourself a break! he loves you, he is with you,. men are visual so thats the porn thing. can you as suggested watch it with him? or better yet suggest you "practice" making yoour own? have fun with it, men love confidence-wether you weigh 100 lbs or 300...they find confidence sexier than any porn.
    Bearsjen

    Answer by Bearsjen at 10:36 PM on Apr. 21, 2010

  • why would you accept the fact that your husband doesnt care about how he makes you feel and wants to watch other girls naked while theyre having sex with people? its disgusting. you should not accept it. you need to stand up for yourself. do you want to feel like this forever? your husband should care about how you feel.
    i made it perfectly clear to my SO that now that hes with me, he does not look at porn anymore. porn is for single people and if he wants to look at porn, we are NOT going to be together because i will not be unhappy because of him, i want someone who only needs to look at me naked, and cares about my feelings. he hasnt looked at porn since.
    i dont buy that excuse "hes a guy". so the F what. stand up for yourself or else you may regret it in the long run. you only live once.
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 11:06 PM on Apr. 21, 2010

  • You don't have to accept it!

    "It has nothing to do with how they feel about their wives. It's just something guys enjoy watching. " That statement could not be further from the truth. If that were true, then we could say crack heads enjoy crack, so it must be ok since they enjoy it or psycho killers enjoy murdering people, so it must be ok since they enjoy it. Maybe the men don't care about their wives, but they should if it makes them feel bad about themselves. I think married men who view it and don't think it hurts anyone are selfish.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:10 PM on Apr. 21, 2010

  • I can't believe someone said it's just as much entertainment as sports. IS THAT WHAT SEX IS TO YOU? If some women are ok with their men getting off on looking at other women, fine, but that doesn't mean it's ok or everyone should accept it. If you have a problem with it, he shouldn't be doing it. Period. My DH was involved in port many years before he and I got together, and even this many years later it has affected him and how he views me. Honey, if you're not comfortable with him watching it, he needs to stop. That's why we made a commitment to "forsake all others" when we got married. Good luck, mama!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:34 PM on Apr. 21, 2010

  • I agree with anon, you don't have to accept it, you are choosing to accept it. Women that tell you to accept it have accepted it in their own personal lives and have had to "get over it".


    Him watching porn is the equivalent of you getting a sugar daddy to spoil you with things he can't afford. Men work with different currency than women. His "man-hood" is wrapped up in being able to provide. If you threaten that, he'll understand exactly how you feel about the porn.

    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 12:22 AM on Apr. 22, 2010

  • LMAO at some of these responses!!

    No, you don't have to accept his porn. The whole "he's a guy" excuse is a SAD SAD excuse.
    "He is a guy so he can't help himself! " "He's a guy so he can't say no." "He's a guy so he likes a$$." Sorry to say but its all BULL!!! Men are NOT children and every action has a reaction and they are accountable.


    What If I said Women like clothes and jewelry and money and a mansions and they can't help themselves!!! Would you buy that too??? If you do I have a bridge I would like to see to you :o)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:35 AM on Apr. 22, 2010

  • your down playing how much he seems to say its' not an issue so if it's not then ask him to stop. no big deal right. it's not as if anyone has to have porn in their life.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 12:54 AM on Apr. 22, 2010

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