Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

can you sahm's even comprehend that we working moms have more inferior complex issues then you do?

I hear it all the time in here from sahm's, that you arent appreciated, that you are looked down on for being a sahm. Wow,,,do you have any idea how much those of us that work are looked down upon by you sahm's? I have been a single parent,,not by choice for 7 yrs to my kids. I go to work everyday to make sure we survive. My sahm friends,,,look down on me. For 7 yrs,,,I have been looked down on for being a single parent. The grass is always greenier on the other side. I would have loved to be a stay at home mommy,,more then anything in the world. My ex was abusive and went to prison for a long time for dv. Ladies,,,dont believe anything you hear, anything you read,,,the best job in the world is being a sahm,,,,

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:10 PM on Apr. 21, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • I am a SAHM and I dont look down at moms who have to work. You have to do whats best for your family. No judgement here!

    Answer by ddsunshine at 11:13 PM on Apr. 21, 2010

  • I have no issues with most working moms. But I live in a VERY wealthy area and to hear a woman who lives in a 1.5 million dollar home, vacations world wide, drives a cheyenne (very popular here), and then says she cant quit to sahm because she would have to give up too much and oh how hard her life is ... with the live in nanny doing it all. THOSE are the ones that upset me.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:18 PM on Apr. 21, 2010

  • I have been both. I understand where you are coming from. I am a single parent too. It is fairly new to me I have only been in it for about eleven months now but I have to work two jobs just to survive and that is even with him paying child support.

    If someone walked up to me tomorrow and said I will pay you $1,000 dollars a day to stay at home with your kids then hell yes I would do it, but since that isn't ever going to happen, I have to work. You have to do it so tell your sahm friends you are doing your best to support your family. It's not their place to judge anyway, just sayin'...

    Answer by viola_swamp at 11:19 PM on Apr. 21, 2010

  • Im a SAHM. I look up to Working moms. It must be incredibly hard to leave a child in the care of other so much, It takes a strong mom to do that. Single moms have to everything (super woman!) U have to work, U have to clean, cook. be mom, be dad. and everything else. In this world sometimes it is simply just not enough with dad working. I dont look down on working moms..
    But I do have a problem with woman that make plenty of money, could stay home but simply work because they "cant handle being with their kids all day" "they need a break" "they need adult conversation & a life"... It hurts to hear that...
    As they are excitedly dropping their kids off & going to work for fun, there are moms in their cars crying their eyes out in front of the daycare because their heart is breaking for HAVING to go to work!

    Answer by MommaTasha1003 at 11:31 PM on Apr. 21, 2010

  • I have been both a SAHM and a working mom. I have also been a single working mom. All are hard. Though I will admit the single working mom is the hardest to be. I don't look down on anyone because I realise that being a SAHM is not for every mom.


    Answer by JAIRATRACI at 11:42 PM on Apr. 21, 2010

  • You're doing what you have to do, sacrificing what you would rather do. I think there's a big difference between that and women who sacrifice raising their children because they want a career. My hats go off to mom's like you who have to do it all, and it makes me very humble and grateful for the privilege of being a SAHM.

    Answer by Adelicious at 12:04 AM on Apr. 22, 2010

  • i posted the other thing about my husband and me being a sahm! I dont look down at you at all your my hero really working taking care of kids and your house....... right now its best for me to be a sahm and me and my husband both agreed and im glad i get to be a sahm but i dont think its right for him to treat me like i do nothing!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:12 AM on Apr. 22, 2010

  • If they look down on you they are NOT your friends...merely people whom you happen to know and need to know a lot less.

    I cannot say I agree with your premise of inferiority. And the best job in the world is a matter of personal preference. I've done the SAHM thing and HATED it. But if someone else loves it, I don't think she's inferior at ALL. Her choice.

    Answer by gdiamante at 12:21 AM on Apr. 22, 2010

  • I am a SAHM and I do want to give you credit. I cant imagine leaving my child to go to work. It has to be very hard for you. I have alot of respect for moms who work. My mom worked, and worked at night so she could be involved with our lives and I appreciated how much she sacrificed for my brothers and I. I do appreciate that I can be a SAHM because alot of people cant afford to do it. I am sorry that some SAHM have made rude comments. Most families have no choice, and need two incomes, or single moms who need to support the family. Being a single mom is such a huge reponsibility. I remember my mom feeling guilty after my parents divorced because she worked and we couldnt always afford the nice things, and then she would feel guilty for working and being away from us. You are doing the best for your family. No one should ever make you feel bad about that. I wish you and your family the best.

    Answer by Sillybillymel at 12:30 AM on Apr. 22, 2010

  • I am a SAHM and certainly don't look down on working moms. I think I have the greatest job on the planet and can't imagine having to choose between staying home to raise my baby or working to be able to raise my baby! Luckily we are fortunate enough that with careful budgeting we are able to get by comfortably on my husband's income. I do agree with the previous poster about the working moms who choose to work while a live in nanny takes care of your kids. If you can afford to stay home you should (even if you love working or need an escape, there is such a thing as part time) kids need your love and affection more than the things you can buy them. They won't remember all the expensive clothes or gifts when they are grown but they will certainly look back on the time you shared together.

    Answer by spbeta at 12:52 AM on Apr. 22, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.