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What would you do in this situation? I am going to go crazy!!!

I have been with the love of my life for 5 years now. We got married 2 years ago. When we got married I became pregnant and we moved in with his parents.. He got a part time job and makes bout 200 a week. He said it would only be temporary when we moved in. Well we went on vacation and i came back with a surprise. My son was born a month ago. I am still here and I hate his parents they are insane and took over my daughter and we do not get along. They baby him and his mother even tells me things like a wife is supposed to do this.I clean up after everyone of these lazy pigs and get no help with the kids at all. I am miserable. We would have enough money if he would not blow it all the time, 2 move out. He has plenty of stuff we could sell and maybe even buy a small house. Every time I mention moving there is something wrong with it. Now he is talking about fixing their basement up 2 move in. I said no.What would you do?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:49 AM on Apr. 22, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • id leave....maybe not permanently but i would explain that i wasnt happy and if he wasnt going to do something to change it, i was. let him see what life is like WITHOUT you so maybe he will appreciate the fact that you are miserable and he needs to stop screwin around w the money and get you guys out!
    bekka106

    Answer by bekka106 at 4:01 AM on Apr. 22, 2010

  • Before I got with my fiance I worked full time, and was going to school while being a single mom. After moving in with my fiance he told me he wanted to be the "provider" and wanted me to be able to stay home with my son (our son). I guess you can call us old fashioned, but thats just the way we are. Personally if my husband did not do his job to support our family fincially, while I worked my butt off supporting them in everyother way I would leave him. A friend once told me its easier to be a single parent when your spouse becomes an extra kid to take care of. If your husband expects you to clean up after him, etc then he shouldn't expect any less of you (meaning if he can support the family or not with a job).
    Apple_Pie2010

    Answer by Apple_Pie2010 at 4:44 AM on Apr. 22, 2010

  • I would give him a ultimatum. We are moving or me and the kid/s are moving.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 5:42 AM on Apr. 22, 2010

  • I totally get your frustration. However, I do have to ask: Do you have a job as well? If he's only making about $200 a week, I think you're going to find it very hard to get by, and so even if he saves the money to move out, you may find you can't make it. Regardless, have you told him you're not happy? I'm guessing you have, and so at this point, I'd just tell him straight out that you can't handle living there anymore and that it's time to move out: is he coming with you or not? And then find a place to live. If you can find and afford a place on your own, get it. If not, find a relative or friend you can stay with and go. If he doesn't come with you, then you'll know that he likes being a kid and you need to be the adult and take care of your kid and live your life. And just tell your in laws that she's your daughter and you will raise her. Stand up for yourself, and her.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 6:24 AM on Apr. 22, 2010

  • I'd give him a timeline and tell him that we move out together or alone but that our goals were to be a family and that meant without his parents in the home.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:14 AM on Apr. 22, 2010

  • I had a friend who her bf convinced her if they moved in with his parents they could save money for their own house she agreed it would help. so they moved in with his parents and their kids and he started to buy things instead of saving up the money. She had enough so she moved out with the two boys and his mother told him he should leave her. Now she lives in an apartment with her kids and he still lives at his parents home. You need to do what makes your life worth living and what makes you more relaxed. Tell him either we move out as a family or I take the kid or kids and move on. There can only be one queen per house and if his parents are getting to you set a time table and if he does not stick to it you still move out. This will be a good lesson for him to make up his mind.

    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 8:48 AM on Apr. 22, 2010

  • I would tell him I simply could not take it anymore. That I was getting my own place, I would love it if he would come with me, but if he chose not to, then I could not control that.
    mommy11260

    Answer by mommy11260 at 9:00 AM on Apr. 22, 2010

  • If it were me here is what I would do-- I would start saving up $$, and if I did not have a job I would start looking for one. I would also start looking around for a place to live and get an idea of how much I would need saved up for rent on a new place. Once I had all that done I would sit him down and have a talk with him about how I feel. I would tell him that I am not happy, it is not working out, and it is time to move out. I'd give him a choice -- he can move out with the kids and I and be a family, or he can stay home with mommy and daddy. If he chose to stay home with mommy and daddy I would pack up the kids and leave, and then I would contact a lawyer and find out what my rights are, and start the ball rolling for child support and custody.
    Good luck, I hope it all works out for you!
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 9:58 AM on Apr. 22, 2010

  • if you yourself are not working then first get established it might take a while but its better then moving out with nothing then tell your hubby that you are moving out and if he wants this marriage he better come because your not staying there any longer sometime you have to take the first step once you get established make sure everything is in your name so that if things don't work out then you know you got things handled.
    symle456

    Answer by symle456 at 10:35 AM on Apr. 22, 2010

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