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I read my 15 yr olds mail

Well not really mail... but a letter to a friend. I know it was private but too dang bad. Her room is disgusting and I needed to vaccume. If it was that private she should have found a place for it rather than in a pile of crap on her floor.

Well she went to a friends house to spend the night last weekend... apparently they walked to the park down the street and met some boys. The boys called someone to bring them pot. The fella who had the pot (senior) convinced the kids to get in a car and drive around while smoking.
~~at this point Im between MAD and heart broken ~~
Well the letter went on to chew out her friend for leaving her alone at the park. Apparently my daughter refused to smoke, refused to get in the car with a high kid.. one she didnt even know.
~~ proud, dissappointed, glad, sad ~~

I dont want to tell her I read it... but am at a loss as to what to do from here.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:07 PM on Apr. 22, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (14)
  • do nothing, and be relieved your daughter didn't get high and raped by the kids that brought the weed.
    rucafox

    Answer by rucafox at 12:09 PM on Apr. 22, 2010

  • There's nothing you NEED to do. You're daughter is a very smart girl..and it's clear from this letter, that she is also responsible. She sounds like she's got a great head on her shoulders, and I wouldn't worry about her at all. If I were you...I would maybe tell her that you came across it...and that you apologize for reading her private things...but tell her that you ARE proud of her...and let her know that if she is ever in another situation like that again...that she can call you, so you can come pick her up, no questions asked. She's a great kid, mom. you should be proud. =)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:10 PM on Apr. 22, 2010

  • and don't let her spend the night at any one else's hosue anymore....
    and don't even tell her, just next time she wants to go somewhere, have a reason why not.... like... I'm taking you to the salon baby, that day.
    you CAN be her best friend. f'sho. you might have to grease the wheels a bit at first tho.
    rucafox

    Answer by rucafox at 12:10 PM on Apr. 22, 2010

  • i wouldve read it too. i would do nothing and just next time she ask to go with that particular friend say no
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 12:11 PM on Apr. 22, 2010

  • i wouldnt do anything. i wouldnt tell her you read it because then she will feel violated. i would be happy that she refused to smoke and get in the car. i would not not allow her to sleep at someones house, because you should not punish her for what other teens are like. she has to learn for herself, and it seems like shes doing a good job so far. she probably doesnt even want to go and hang out with this particular girl anymore anyway.
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 12:24 PM on Apr. 22, 2010

  • i think you should tell her you read the letter and that you are proud of her decisions. Children need to know when you feel they have done right! It gives them more reason to do right in the future...
    mariisasmommy

    Answer by mariisasmommy at 12:24 PM on Apr. 22, 2010

  • tell her you found it and read it and that you are very proud of her to stand up to the like that apologize for snooping and take her shopping or do something to tell her that what she did was the best thing she couldve done.
    Then you need to let her know that if you ever catch her doing it you will call the police end of story...
    But let her know she did right, and that you are PROUD of her make sure you "rub" that into her.. Good Luck!!
    TravisJohnsmama

    Answer by TravisJohnsmama at 2:11 PM on Apr. 22, 2010

  • DON'T DO ANYTHING!! You don't want your daughter to know that you snooped, even if it was out in the open on her floor.
    She did a GOOD THING and you can be proud of how you have raised your daughter.
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 2:44 PM on Apr. 22, 2010

  • I agree with twinsplus2more!! She said it perfectly.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 4:08 PM on Apr. 22, 2010

  • First off sometimes we need to snoop, I know I know, but we need to know the truth of what our kids are really doing. You got lucky, very lucky. I don't always have that kind of like. I have seen things I didn't want to see. Sometimes I mention it other times I don't. I would not tell her. I would ask what they did that night and see if she tells you. She should be very proud of her self for doing the right thing, as you should be of her. This is a good sign. If you haven't already open the conversation about drugs, drinking, sexing and dating.
    Good Job Mom!!!
    wallmom1

    Answer by wallmom1 at 5:27 PM on Apr. 22, 2010

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