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Would you confront your spouse over something like this?

I went to Yahoo today to check my e-mail, and found that I was already logged in. I am still not sure if I simply did not sign out yesterday, but I believe I did. I just shrugged it off...until I opened my inbox. As with most e-mail sites, Yahoo has a symbol next to each message that tells you whether you have opened it or not. As usual, I automatically checked all messages to delete, then scrolled down to check any I might want to read first. I noticed that a message that had arrived AFTER I got off yesterday had been read (just a Facebook notice that my father-in-law had commented on my status). It was obvious that, while he was on the computer after I went to bed, my husband had gone through my e-mail. This hurts. I have nothing to hide from him, and if he asked I would let him read it all (mostly SPAM anyway). Doing this behind my back makes me feel like he suspects me of something I certainly haven't done.

Answer Question

Asked by KarmicChild at 1:48 PM on Apr. 22, 2010 in Relationships

Level 8 (249 Credits)
Answers (22)
  • I would just ask him about it. If you get defensive he's going to automatically assume you are hiding something and it may cause a fight.

    Answer by TheDiva320 at 1:51 PM on Apr. 22, 2010

  • Well my bf has the passwords to all my sites. Facebook, Myspace, and my emails. But then again he does not go and check my stuff. It is kinda insulting.

    Answer by shamillionaire at 1:51 PM on Apr. 22, 2010

  • i wouldnt care unless you are hiding something. I check my dh's all the time. We use pizzahut and netflix with his account so he knows i go in his.

    Answer by shay1130 at 1:53 PM on Apr. 22, 2010

  • Maybe he didn't do it on purpose. Or he wanted to know what was your father saying. Anyway we all know that "curiosity killed the cat". Now your dh is in deep trouble. Don't be so harsh on him.

    Answer by Energ8zr at 1:54 PM on Apr. 22, 2010

  • *father in law.

    Answer by Energ8zr at 1:55 PM on Apr. 22, 2010

  • not a big deal.

    Answer by staciandababy at 1:56 PM on Apr. 22, 2010

  • Ooooh good point Energ8zr!

    Answer by shamillionaire at 1:57 PM on Apr. 22, 2010

  • OP HERE:

    It is odd, really. I have absolutely nothing to hide from him, and if he asked to see my inbox I would show it to him. Even so, what he did still feels like some kind of personal violation. I guess it is just the thought that, if he felt the need to snoop around behind my back, then I think that means he suspects something. Then I start thinking about that old theory of "if they start to suspect you without cause, maybe THEY did something",

    Answer by KarmicChild at 1:57 PM on Apr. 22, 2010

  • I would just tell him he better not be deleting any of my e-mails while he is snooping.

    Answer by louise2 at 1:58 PM on Apr. 22, 2010

  • I think it's quite normal for couples to be curious about each others emails. I KNOW that if DH had a CafeDad account & wrote about our relationship/family like us moms do ALL the time...i admit that i would be so curious as to what he has to say on CafeDad...LOL!

    And when he had facebook for oh....3 weeks, i was REALLY curious as to what his friends were messaging him about. Anyhow, us snoopers would feel like a total 12 year old idiot if we asked to read your email.

    I have now gotten over checking SO's email. All i learned from doing it was that he has absolutely nothing interesting going on in the internet world...LOL! So, i stopped. Your DH probably had absolutely no ill intent. He may just have been bored & curious. I'm sure he trusts you %100, i always have trusted my DH. But, i'm a curious cat. I would not go too hard. Maybe crack a joke about it to let him know that you know. The look on him will be priceless.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 2:07 PM on Apr. 22, 2010

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