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How hard is it to have a baby and give it away for adoption?

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ClaireWithChild

Asked by ClaireWithChild at 3:10 PM on Apr. 22, 2010 in Adoption

Level 10 (401 Credits)
Answers (81)
  • Claire, I saw some of your posts yesterday and know that you are only 16 y/o & just learned that you are pregnant. I also read where you told your BF and he freaked on you, and you were going to tell your parents. Before I say anything else, I just want you to realize that you are not the first 16 y/o to get pregnant & whatever happens next....you have a long time to decide on. It's good that you are checking into all your options. I'm going to read the rest of your other responses & I'll be back. Hugs to you, You aren't alone.
    doodlebopfan

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 3:15 PM on Apr. 22, 2010

  • There is not quantitative amount big enough to describe.
    MamaK88

    Answer by MamaK88 at 3:16 PM on Apr. 22, 2010

  • in my experience, it's 1000 time harder than having an abortion
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:17 PM on Apr. 22, 2010

  • I think it depends on how you look at it. i haven't seent he giving up side but I have seen people adopt and love a child and it is a wonderful gift. It would be sooo hard to have it grow inside of you and give it away but depending on the situation it is an amazing gift to give a family who wants more children and are prepared to have one. I think it is a more noble choice than abortion because you give your child life and you give a family an answer to prayers. You have alot of time to decide so no need to rush into a decsion. You will probably have different feelings at different stages of your pregnancy. Good Luck!
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 3:22 PM on Apr. 22, 2010

  • in my oppion if you KNOW that having a child isnt the thing for you , if it truly was an accident that u got pregnant and you know in your heart and mind that you just cant not take care of it for whatever reasons, its best to do an adoption. an open adoption is easiest.you will look threw files and find someone u like.set up appointments to meet them. there are thousands of people who can not have a baby for whatever reason. you can not only be giving your child a better life than u can provide right now at 16. but can be giving someone else the gift of a baby' either way its a hard thing to do. you care this thing. you love this thing. you have this thing. then u have to watch someone else get to take her home. concider all your options.and good luck.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:28 PM on Apr. 22, 2010

  • Open adoption is the best thing you can do. Abortion is not an easy thing to deal with. I have a group called ABORTION REGRET. You are more than welcome to join and talk to us about your situation. If you abort, you will never see or know your child. If you adopt, you can have pictures, videos, and maybe even visits. At least your child will have a chance at life. This is a very tough choice to make, but stopping your child's beating heart is not an answer to anything. I still live with the emotional pain every day stemming from my choice to abort 9 yrs ago. PM me if you need anything.
    Luvmylilmonkies

    Answer by Luvmylilmonkies at 3:41 PM on Apr. 22, 2010

  • It's hard when you see other young moms with their babies and you don't have yours. It's hard when your doctor asks about pregnancies. It's hard when other people are talking about their labor and you have to decide whether or not to talk about your experience. It's hard when people ask you if you have children or how many you have. It's hard when you tell your story and someone says "I could never give away one of my children'. It's hard when you tell your story and someone says "you did the right thing, he should be grateful.' It's hard when you realize that you could have raise your child after all. It's hard when the pictures or visits don't happen when their supposed to. It's hard when you think about your child graduating high school and getting married and wonder if you'll be invited. It's hard if you're not.
    onethentwins

    Answer by onethentwins at 4:08 PM on Apr. 22, 2010

  • It's hard if your child's spouse won't accept you as a parent and refuses to let your grandchildren call you grandma. It's hard when you read a list of common adoptee issues and realize your child has most or all of them. It's hard when you see your child struggling in life and you wonder if things would have been different for them if they hadn't been given away by the person who should have been willing to die for them. It's hard when they don't acknowledge you on mothers day or your birthday. It's hard when you know that comment they made WAS meant to hurt, when they stick the adoptee knife in and give it a quick twist, because even though they say they were glad they grew up in their adoptive family it's still hurts them that you gave them away.
    onethentwins

    Answer by onethentwins at 4:14 PM on Apr. 22, 2010

  • It's really hard if the wonderful couple you chose turned out not to be so wonderful that in fact they abused your child. Yes , it happens. It's hard when you're happily married but your child is being raised by a divorced single mom. It's hard when your child says that they never really felt like they belonged in their adoptive family they felt like a "Doberman in a Poodle Parade". It's hard if your child wants nothing to do with you. It's hard when people expect you to move on and get on with your life and you feel like a failure because you haven't. It's hard when one day you realize "what was I thinking, of course I was never going to get over it." It's hard when knowing that you gave the gift of a child to a couple and it isn't any comfort even though it should be. It's hard when you have recurring dreams that your arms have been cut off. It's hard when family members say "oh I would have helped you if you'd kept the baby
    onethentwins

    Answer by onethentwins at 4:26 PM on Apr. 22, 2010

  • Hi Claire, I replied a few times to your previous post. I have been praying that your mom and dad will be supportive of you. {{HUGS}}
    Iamgr8teful

    Answer by Iamgr8teful at 5:18 PM on Apr. 22, 2010

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